Where’s Mark Latham? Reading to kids? Acapulco? Or out in the park with his boys, teaching them to hate?

Three months ago he was the alternative prime minister. Today it seems that even with Joel Fitzgibbon and a ouija board you wouldn’t have any guarantee of contacting the bloke.

He hasn’t responded to Kim Beazley’s offers of a seeing off – but he must be somewhere. Where? Subscribers, over to you.