Dear Christian: I’m pleased to see Crikey covering Alan Jones
again. I was wondering what had happened to Parrot Droppings. Why the
interest in our feathered friend again? Is the Chris Master’s book
finally going to see the light of day?

Dear Stephanie: Most of the old Crikey bird watching team ended
up in therapy, but one of them recently started sending little tit
bits, which caused us to send a little congratulatory letter. To which
we received the following response:

Your note has made me realise what’s gone wrong.
At the start of this year, I got a flatmate for the first time in
years. As a result, I stopped listening to the Parrot. You know, there
are some things you just don’t do in front of other people.

But
the flatmate’s been overseas for the last 6 weeks. And in that time two
of my old bad habits have returned. One is cruising the online chat
channels. And the second is listening to the Parrot.

Alas, though, things that you don’t do in front of other people seem to be continuing to delay the unauthorised biography.