By Christian Kerr and a Crikey subscriber:

Peter Costello, as a good family man, no doubt knows his Sesame Street. So after the last few days we can imagine the Treasurer singing this tune, while shaving points off his credibility rating, to his new best friend:

Dollar Sweetie, you’re the one,

You make bath time lots of fun,

Dollar Sweetie, I’m awfully fond of you;

Woo woo be doo

Dollar Sweetie, joy of joys,

When I squeeze you, you make noise!

Dollar Sweetie, you’re my very best friend, it’s true!

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo

Every day when I

Make my way to the tubby

I find a little fella who’s

Cute and yellow and chubby

Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!

Dollar Sweetie, you’re so fine

And I’m lucky that you’re mine

Dollar Sweetie, I’m awfully fond of you.

Every day when I

Make my way to the tubby

I find a little fella who’s

Cute and yellow and chubby

Dollar Sweetie, you’re so fine

And I’m lucky that you’re mine

Dollar Sweetie, I’m awfully fond of –

Dollar Sweetie, I’d like a whole pond of

Dollar Sweetie, I’m awfully fond of you!

A subscriber writes: “I pen this serious observation having been shaken from my Lateline
interview slumber with the dullard Downer by the sudden realisation
that our most puerile of pollies has decided that his vernal visage
must be maintained at all costs. Either he has inverted himself over a
gallon or two of sump oil, or he has applied a rather excessive amount
of Grecian 2000 to his otherwise fading locks. Even a passing
comparison between the increasingly greying shades of his eyebrows and
the pitch paradise which adorns his scalp should be enough evidence of
a cover-up of the most vain proportions. Perhaps it is time to call for
a toupee watch or a Grecian gawk at our pollies to discover who amongst
our otherwise perfectly natural and incredibly youthful representatives
goes to the greatest and most obvious lengths to avoid public scrutiny
of their advancing years.”

Readers, over to you…