Dear Eddie,

Well, I’ve got to hand it to you. In almost 18 months
we’ve never been able to get close to what you’ve achieved in the past
72 hours. Usually, we get about 50 new trial registrations per day.
Since you and Mark Llewellyn hit the headlines that number has
increased tenfold. The last few days have been Crikey’s biggest ever.

What’s more, you’ve managed to achieve this without even trying. Imagine what you could do if you put your mind to it!

So,
here’s the deal. Let’s face it, James probably isn’t going to want to
preside over your trashing of his old man’s greatest achievement so
there’s every chance you could get “boned” very soon. Better to hop out
now. So why not do the unexpected? Come and work for a news
organisation. Come and work for us.

We can’t promise you a
huge salary and the corner office we have in mind happens to be a
lavatory, but I’m sure you’ll appreciate the little things that you
won’t get at Channel Nine. For a start, we don’t have any employees
called Jessica or Jana. And, because we’re a sensitive, caring team, we
won’t wander around the office saying “Lock it in Eddie”. Best of all,
you’ll quickly appreciate that leaks are our business. After that,
you’ll soon realise how important they are in making powerful people
accountable. That’s a really, really valuable lesson.

We don’t
need a decision right now. Phone a friend and have a chat about it if
you like. But don’t hang around. No point waiting for a boner to become
boned.

Regards,

John Addis and Amber Sloan
The Crikey Marketing Team