An ode to Amanda Vanstone’s ode to Australia (lyrics and song, click here). Sung to the tune of Vanstone’s Under Southern Stars (to the tune of Elgar’s Land of Hope and Glory):

Bonèd from the Cab’netLife was looking quite glumUntil I heard I’d be tanningUnder the Tuscan Sun

I’ve been in Dante’s infernoA Department that’s full of DICsNow it’s me who’s the migrantTo the land of the caffeine fix When it comes to libretti Puccini’s got nothing on meSi, I’m quitting my day jobFor the sweet life in Italy Home to pizza-eatersPenne arrabiataTiramisu forever Amanda’s dolce vita Soon my biggest decision,will be which flavour do I chooseStracciatella or baciEither way you can’t lose Maybe I’ll get a nose joba la Berlusconibrush up on my ItalianFrock up in Armani I’ll chuck a coin in the Trevithey say it’s good for your luck But if John asks me for a fifth winI’ll tell him he can go and get … a gelati.

Tiramisu forever Amanda’s dolce vita