Do your bit: help a pollie with a lame excuse for not meeting the Dalai Lama on his Australian tour.

If our nation’s political leaders can’t find time to meet a Nobel peace laureate, the leader of 350 million Buddhists, and an ambassador for the fast-disappearing Tibetan culture, surely they do better than, “Sorry, no room in the diary.” Here are some free options for politicians generously supplied by Crikey readers:

Cameron McLoughlin writes: He’s not on the negotiating team for the FTA with China.

Dan writes: The recent rain has dampened my incense so badly it won’t light and the wood on my prayer wheel has swollen so badly it won’t turn.

Simon Plunkett writes: I could not possibly meet with the Dalai Lama. His name rhymes Obama and Osama and we know how dangerous that makes him. I am surprised he was given a visa.

Helen Lyons-Riley writes: I cannot meet the Dalai Lama as Jerry Falwell is going to arise again, very soon, and I am needed to print the press releases.

Dani Arlow writes: I met him in a past lifetime.

Send your entries to boss@crikey.com.au with “Dalai Lama comp” in the subject line for a chance to win two VIP tickets to the Dalai Lama’s public lectures in Melbourne (9 June) and Sydney (16 June). Don’t forget to include your city. The winners will be published on Friday 25 May.

For more information on Dalai Lama’s tour, visit www.dalailama.org.au.