Will he? Won’t he? There was rumour early in the week that he wouldn’t. But fret not, we now have confirmation from no better source than the White House itself: President Bush will make it to APEC.

We cross now to the James S. Brady Briefing Room. Dan Price, Deputy National Security Advisor for International Economic Affairs is at the podium:

”Thank you. Good afternoon. On Monday, President Bush will leave Washington and travel to Sydney, Australia, to attend the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation leaders meeting.”

There you have it.

”After refueling in Honolulu on Labor Day, the President will cross the dateline and arrive in Sidney Tuesday evening.”

Sidney?

”Wednesday will be a day of bilateral consultations and events with Prime Minister Howard. It will begin with a small meeting with Prime Minister Howard and the President and a few of their senior staff, and then be followed by an expanded meeting with wider participation by members of Mr. Howard’s cabinet.”

New tie for Alexander Downer we expect! Julie Bishop combs her Safeway for the required 15 cans of Cedel.

”I think you can expect that key topics of that meeting are likely to be discussions of international hot spots, including Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan; and regional concerns such as the progress in the six-party talks on North Korean denuclearization, and the situation in Burma. We also anticipate a discussion of our common approach to sustainable growth, energy security and climate issues, and the Doha Round of trade liberalization. I would note on that score that since the U.S.-Australia Free Trade Agreement came into effect in January of 2005, the U.S.-Australian trade has increased by an impressive 19 percent.”

Just don’t mention our current account deficit.

”On Wednesday evening, the President will travel across Sydney Harbor to meet with the Governor General of Australia, and then proceed to a private dinner with the Prime Minister and his wife at the official residence of the Prime Minister, which is called Kirribilli House.”

No it’s not (sorry Janette), that’d be the Lodge.

”In the afternoon, the President will greet the employees and families of the U.S. Mission in Australia, and have a bilateral meeting with President Hu Jintao of China. Key topics of discussion at that meeting are likely to be the U.S.-China economic dialogue, six-party talks, Darfur, Burma, Doha, and developments in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Iran.”

Oh, and he’ll talk to Kevin Rudd. And then probably hit the town. Get p-ssed. Watch naked women. That kind of thing.

”The leaders will then proceed to an informal lunch, followed by the traditional official photograph with leaders donning clothing representative of the host nation. I believe that is still a secret on the Australian side.

Sure. Ned Kelly head pieces and oilskin cricket protectors is our tip.