To puff up Meatloaf’s most memorable contribution to our culture, two out of ten ain’t bad. Well, not bad enough for me to say “tartar” to the Spring Carnival just yet.

Those who followed my suggestions of five on the nose for all ten of my selections on that most erratic of Turnbull States days would have received $29.50 via the TAB – (Race 1, Exceedingly Good, $15; Race 5, Vormista, $14.50) – that’s more than half the Crikey $50 outlay. Sorry.

Now that I’m officially suffering “betting stress” it is tempting to allocate my now meagre resources across the hot pots of the Guineas program, and yes, I am getting behind the boom gelding in the main race, and the Scandinavian speed machine in the Yalumba.

But should some of my other more eclectic selections greet the judge, I’ll be “back in the black” (to paraphrase AC/DC) in time for Caulfield Cup Day. If they all lose, I’ll have 50 cents to my name.

TIPS

RACE 1 : (2) Incumbent $4 WIN

RACE 2 : (1) Sonic Quest

RACE 3 : (9) Gold Chant $5 WIN

RACE 4 : (9) Masked Assassin

RACE 5 : (7) Miss Finland $10 WIN

RACE 6 : (5) Divine Madonna

RACE 7 : (12) Weekend Hussler $5 WIN

RACE 8 : (5) Master O’Reilly

RACE 9 : (9) Juste Momente $5 WIN