Dr Allan Hawke, Chancellor of the Australian National University, will step down on January 1 to be replaced by former Labor leader Kim Beazley. The changing of the ANU guard has raised eyebrows because Hawke was generally regarded as an outstanding servant of the university. A former Defence Department chief and High Commissioner in Wellington, Hawke has formidable networks in the Canberra bureaucracy and across the political parties. The story doing the rounds is that someone high in Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s government asked for Beazley to be “given something” to soothe the fact that he had been overlooked for a senior diplomatic role.

Oz stars dis Press Gallery dinner. While The Oz’s “Strewth” column today discusses Alan Ramsey’s speech to the Press Gallery’s annual dinner on Friday night, hacks from the national broadsheet were conspicuous by their absence at the event in question. While News Ltd was well represented via the likes of Malcolm Farr and Steve Lewis, the stars from The Australian all evidently had prior engagements. Their absence was all the more noticeable given Ramsey, who started in the Gallery for The Oz in 1966, commented on Rupert Murdoch’s decades-long investment in the paper, despite its lack of return for his company. Pray Rupert lives as long as his mum.

Rio Tinto Iron Ore mines are all shutting down for two weeks over Christmas/New Year. This is unheard of in the Iron Ore industry. A sure indicator that China has applied the brakes to some extent. Rio had recently shut down one of its ore bodies at Brockman mine and transferred the relevant personnel to Dampier (the Port), to spend the next six months building a 30 million tonne stockpile. The recession is coming.

As to pollies drinking on the job… I’m sure it still goes on but it was common practice back in the ’80’s in the NT Legislative Assembly (equivalent to state parliament) for pollies to drink (mainly vodka) during sittings. The attendants would encourage it more after 6pm by constantly “refreshing” pollies drinks to incite argument and lengthen the days sitting. If successful and the pollies finished after 10pm that would mean the attendants got paid double time all the next day.

With Brian McCarthy about to assume the top job at Fairfax expect a raft of changes in key management positions starting with The Age. Mutterings continue about the performance of current managing director Don Churchill. With David Kirk gone, another New Zealander is about to go the same way. Rural Press Melbourne-based executive and McCarthy mate, Allan Browne is widely expected to get the gig

The strife at 2GB continues. 2GB studios in staff meltdown. Staff angry and frustrated, listeners furious and switching over. Murray Wilton has been “boned”, and not “suspended” contrary to the reporting in the Daily Telegraph’s confidential section this week. Here is the cold email, Program Director, Peter Brennan sent out to everyone in the network on 5.30pm Friday:

RE: Murray Wilton.

Dear all,

After seven years of service 2GB and Murray Wilton have parted ways.

Murray has been a valued and popular member of the 2GB team both on and off the air and will be missed by his fans and team members alike.

Regards Peter Brennan

But the knights of the long knives haven’t finished gutting, or trimming the fat just yet, there seems to be job cuts in MRN’s digital online division, with casual journalists being lined up for the meat axe this week. Michael Patrick who used to work at Austereo, and came over to manage the 2GB web site content left the company this week, but given the timing everyone knows that he’s been “boned”. The pen pushers haven’t been spared either. Lesley Sweeney, the wife of a former senior sales executive at the network has left the company/been boned this week also.

Here is the email about Lesley Sweeney:

Hi Team,

After 14 years at MRN, today we say goodbye Lesley Sweeney.

Lesley is leaving us to take up a fulltime position with motherhood.

Mark Noakes

Murphy, the long time popular broadcaster on 2CH has also been boned. 2CH needed to get rid of someone to offset the costs across the network, and Steve was seen as an easy target. Steve is apparently devastated at the news, and can’t believe he’s been singled out. He’ll still retain his position at 2GB as the Saturday nights presenter, where his number one rating numerology show is cost efficient. Here is the email about Steve Murphy:

Today Steve Murphy signs off at the end of his last shift. Steve has been part of the 2CH on air line up since 1995.

Kind regards Ian Holland Programme Director

And meanwhile from several grassy knolls: I would like to inform you that the actress Scarlett Johansson actually is a clone from the original person, Scarlett Galabekian, who has nothing to do with acting. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice and most importantly a CHRISTIAN young lady!

I’ll tell you more; those clones (it’s not only one) are made in GERMANY — a world leader in the manufacture of human clones. It is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl’s home town. You can not even imagine the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl’s clone staff are strictly controlling all their clones (at least they are trying) from spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well.

Please remember that original Scarlett’s family did not authorise any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all needs to be delivered to authorized personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way!

Crikey/Media Monitors radio rumour watch reports:

  • There are rumours golfer Tiger Woods may compete at next year’s Australian Masters — 5:48am Channel Nine Today Show
  • Caller “Frustrated” claims Federal Politicians in Canberra are still using full pressure shower heads, while telling others that they must use only 150 litres of water a day. — 7:09am 3AW (Melbourne)
  • Caller Shane says he “went to a gathering on Saturday night” and claims a Tennis Australia person mentioned the upcoming Australian Open will be Lleyton Hewitt’s last due to a hip injury “playing up too much”. — 7:15am 3AW (Melbourne)