Three time-honoured Australia Day traditions you can set your watch to: Aussies will consume countless paddocks of lamb because the meat and livestock industry paid a former footballer to tell us to, the Triple J Hottest 100 number one two will be met with a collective cry of: “Really? Them?!”, and op-ed pages across the country will be filled entirely with pundits airing their grievances on the flag, the monarchy, flag-waving patriotism and the latest batch of Australia Day award recipients.
Here’s a round-up of the full chorus you were too busy scarfing burnt chops and luke-warm beer to read:
The Australian
Editorial: Great achievers who have earned our admiration
… it is not the Australian way to salute service to self-interest.
Tim Soutphommasane: Let’s celebrate our sense of belonging
Witnessing others naturalise as Australians is a reminder that citizenship is not for everyone a birthright. As any naturalised Australian will tell you, it is a status worn with immeasurable pride.
Jack the Insider: The royals we have to have
The Windsors and their whacky ancestors are a huge source of fun, and this is what the ARM doesn’t seem to understand…
The Age
Editorial: Don’t taint national pride with prejudice
Australians like to distinguish between their own flag-waving and the antics of, for example, the young Croatian supporters ejected from the Australian Open last week. It may be doubted, however, whether foreign observers always see the difference.
Greg Day: Wish someone a happy Republic Day today
What does it say about Australia that we rely on foreign students (and recent migrants) to drive taxis, clean our shopping centres, and serve in our shops? It says we don’t care.
Sydney Morning Herald
Editorial: We’ve golden soil and a quiet day off
As the flags wave with ever-growing fervour, it is worth considering whether Australia’s home-grown virtues … are not celebrated more aptly with a quiet day off than with the strident patriotism we have imported from abroad.
Justin Wastnage: At least we know what Australia we are talking about
For most, being born in Australia equals Australian citizenship, Australian nationality and a Guernsey to barrack for Australia in sport.
Stephanie Dowrick: Let’s rejoice in our diversity, not girt by a fear of change
Few people’s “Australian life” is unaffected by deep and often painful disruption, whether in their own generation or earlier. A recognition of that helps.
James Adonis: What Australia Day means to a wog
No, we’re not perfect, and yes, there are plenty of areas requiring improvement, but Australia Day, more than any other, should be a time for us to lighten up and be thankful.
National Times
John Birmingham: Since when did dumb-arsed nationalism become compulsory?
Just because someone told me I had to do lamb, I’m gonna do Bangkok chicken and Malaysian blackened fish instead. And maybe a coupla tandoori sticks in memory of all the Indian cabbies who are gonna get bashed by effwits with southern cross tatts today.
Dick Gross: From Church to State
It may amaze you, but today I was given a gong – an AM to be precise.
Herald Sun
Editorial: Day of pride
As Australia Day dawns and Victoria faces a new fire season, the men who assembled at 6am last year at the Labertouche Fire Station say they were no different from thousands of other volunteers. But what happened that day showed the spirit of Australia.
Daily Telegraph
Bev Manton: Nothing to celebrate today for Aboriginals
January 26 is not a date any reasonable Australian could possibly expect us to embrace.
The Advertiser
Editorial: National day a time for reflection
… the character of Australia Day and the patriotism it brings forth, is on the rise. Perhaps we should not worry too much about that. After all, our national pride is actually well placed.
Hobart Mercury
Editorial: Australia Day is one of the world’s quirkiest national celebrations…
Tasmania and Australia have gained much from migrants, so why not throw a souvlaki on the barbie to celebrate.
Gold Coast Bulletin
Editorial: Drunk idiots disgrace our national day
It is time for substantial action to prevent the takeover of Australia Day by yobbos.
We should abandon it as a public holiday.
ABC
Bob Ellis: Australians all, let us not lie
… we all inwardly hate the Australian National Anthem. We give way to untruth every time we stand for it.
Marius Benson: A big day for a big country
If you look at the way we live and spend while we might think we are as Aussie as a kelpie, in reality we are as Aussie as a McDonald’s or a Honda.
Mungo MacCallum: Advance Australia dare
After all, just what are we celebrating? The day our country became a British penal colony. Well, whoopee.
Marieke Hardy: Blue singlet patriotism gets a little off colour
It may be frowned upon to burn the Australian flag, but wearing it as a cape whilst off one’s face on Bundy and dry is fine, apparently.
Amidst the cloying annual Immigrants = Multiculturalism = Great Food rubbish and nauseating black armband self-loathing, the Fourth Estate were well quiet on condemning as “racist” the appalling attack on two indian students on Australia Day eve by a group of Asian youths, five of whom were later charged with the assault.
Such charming, inclusive and welcoming epithets as “f..k off curry muncher” were meted out by the perpetrators in between blows.
The ABC referred to them as a “…group of people…”.
Whilst over at The Aged they were even more elusive; only too happy to provide the ages and suburban origins of the assailants but saying nothing about their ethnicity.
Even after charges were laid.
VicPol Commissioner Simon Overland also chimed in saying “…the violence was not race related but came from living in a big city…”.
Indeed. No racial attack here.
No round-eye involved you see.
Or as John Birmingham above so eloquently puts it “…effwits with southern cross tatts…”.
Maybe they were all at the Souvlaki Bar across the street.
Australian Media. You’re standing in it.