Hey hey it’s the Monckies!
Yes, Crikey‘s new regular competition for the dumbest contribution to the climate change debate of the month is named after Lord Monckton, failed ‘unsolvable’ puzzle designer, false claimant to a Lords seat, thyroid-crazed paranoid (‘EU Nazis stole my brain’), and climate change sceptic.
Let’s be clear about this however. The Monckies will be awarded to entrants from all corners of the climate change discussion — the IPCC’s glacier error for example, would make a worthy Monckie nominee.
Today’s Monckie goes to…Lanai Vasek and Matthew Franklin of The Oz, for their front page splash in reaction to Minister for Climate Change and Water Penny Wong’s opening address to the National Coastal Climate Change forum in Adelaide last night:
“Not only are our assets and environments at risk, many of our sandy beaches could erode away or recede up to hundreds of metres over the coming century. It is possible that with climate change, and without large and expensive nourishment programs, Bondi Beach, Sunshine Coast and Bells Beach may no longer be the beaches we know today.”
The Oz went straight to an expert for the story entitled ‘Wong wipeout doesn’t wash with locals’:
That’s Lee Boman at Sydney’s Bondi Beach yesterday. According to the caption, he’s been swimming at the beach for 30 years and sees no signs of change.
Phew! That’s a relief. Ask him if it looks like rain.
The Oz also interviewed renowned climate change sceptic, James Cook University geologist Bob Carter. “Pointing to historical rates of sea level rise of an average 1.6mm per year globally over the past 100 years Mr Carter said it was reasonable to expect a total rise of 16cm in a century,” report Matthew Franklin and Lenai Vasek.
The broadsheet neglected to inform its readers that Dr Carter’s figures don’t square with those of the vast majority of scientists working in the field of sea level rises. Take, for example, Dr John Church, Principle Research Scientist in CSIRO Marine and Atmospheric Research, who says: “Globally, sea level has been rising through the 20th century. After a long period of relatively stable sea level, the rate of rise increased from the 19th to the 20th century, accelerated further during the 20th century and since the early 1990s has been rising at about 3.3 mm/yr, almost twice the average for the 20th century.”
Please note the award goes to The Oz and not Mr Boman, whose views on climate change are unknown.
What will Monckie of the month win? What else?
Daydream believers, form a queue.
“…The Monckies will be awarded to entrants from all corners of the climate change discussion…”
Sure they will.
“…since the early 1990s has been rising at about 3.3 mm/yr, almost twice the average for the 20th century.”…”
Only a stupid ignorant fool would take such a ridiculously short time span and extrapolate anything but pure tea-leaf reading nonsense.
If this is your FIRST “Monckie” then its an EPIC FAIL.
“…First up: The Oz and their interview with a Bondi beach regular (note, not a climate scientist)…”
Instead I’ll nominate a real global warming flunkie and Geodynamics shareholder: Tim Flummery (note, not a climate scientist) for adding such gems to the historical record as:
“…We?re headed for 5.4 degrees over the next 100 years. Adaptation will be less likely…”
“…If humans pursue a business-as-usual course for the first half of this century, I believe the collapse of civilization due to climate change becomes inevitable…”
“…Polar bears are going to go with the ice cap. They’re not going to actually last that long…”
“…I think there is a fair chance Perth will be the 21st century’s first ghost metropolis…”
“…the ongoing drought could leave Sydney’s dams dry in just two years…”
“…The water problem is so severe for Adelaide that it may run out of water by early 2009…”
“…picture an eight-storey building by a beach, then imagine waves lapping its roof…”
“…when the computer modelling and the real world data disagree you’ve got a very interesting problem… Sure for the last 10 years we’ve gone through a slight cooling trend…”
…and my personal favourite:
“…All of this would require a new city in the desert – let’s call it Geothermia…”
No let’s not.
Arise Tim Flummery…Monckette of the Century.
Apart from the odd burp about “climatic lunatics”, Guy de Rundle has avoided commenting on AGW. This wisdom ended today. Rundle’s ignorance of the empirical world is boundless, so he’s ideally placed to assess climatic projections.
Tell me, Guy de Glassjaw, do you subscribe to British climate modeller (not “scientist”, n.b.) Prof. Kevin Anderson’s fervent belief that in a few decades only 500 million human survivors will be left, no doubt sweating in Spitzbergen? (look it up, the place). That’s with 4 degrees of warming. We’re told by Competent Authorities that the world will soon be 3.9 degrees warmer regardless of what is done.
Read Wong’s speech (I can hear that brain-drilling drone now…) – she smears everyone who doubts Armageddon as quacks and crooks. This dishonesty just drives the bewildered, sobbing masses to His Craziness, Lord Planckton of Krill. As yours does.
Wonder what that crowd is gawping at outside the Cafe Tossopolis in Athens? Where Trundle rehashes online news about the Greek Sickonomy before sending it to Crikey Top Stories?
The multitude is admiring Guy’s insouciance, as he skewers climate loonies from the shade of his magnificent Carbon Footprint…
Go Yeti!
Clicks, clacks
Riding the backs of giraffes for laughs is alright for a while
The ego sings of castles and kings and things
That go with a life of style
Wanting to feel, to know what is real
Living is a lie
But the porpoise is waiting good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
Agreed the rate has been 3.3 mm per year for 100 years – but this is not much! 30 cm per century is hardly a catastrophic rise likely to lead to the end of civilization as we know it, even if it continues.