Art collectors around the world have been in near hysterics as Sotheby’s grasped the prize, so to speak, and announced it will auction Sam Leach’s Proposal for Lanscaped Cosmos (2010) and Adam Pynacker’s Boatmen Moored on a Lake Shore (1668) in tandem. Since Leach’s piece won the $25,000 Wynne Prize — for “the best landscape painting of Australian scenery in oils or watercolours or for the best example of figure sculpture by Australian artists” — art lovers have been struggling to spot the difference.
Chairman of Sotheby’s, Lord Robert Nelson, was exultant. “It’s a tremendous scoop for us, and, of course, for all art lovers across the globe! We are expecting extreme interest,” he crowed.
Rijksmuseum Museum director Johannes Meculpa expressed his concern and delight, noting that while the museum was sad to be deaccessioning one of its “minor or lesser” pieces, the opportunity to recoup some of its GFC losses was not to be sneezed at. He was especially pleased it would be connected to a sale of an Australian picture — because “part of Australia was named Van Diemen’s Land, no? And Netherlands means like your southern land, yes?”
Meanwhile at the Art Gallery of New South Wales, home of the Wynne prize, director Edmund “Easy” Capon is understood to be close to resigning. An unidentified spokesman allowed he had said something to the effect of: “Right, that’s the last effing straw, I’ve had it with you blowfly philistines, I’m going home to a real place, where the landscape is actually green.” He is reported to be investigating a start-up cottage industry in the Cotswolds making a line of mismatched socks. His job is rumoured to be promised to Melbourne identity Chris Nixon, who will be returning to her home state to take up the appointment. She has promised to “deal with any controversies” and to “promptly put out any bushfires”.
The board of trustees that form the judging panel have all been sacked from their positions of prize judges. Taking their places will be the Mosman Book Group and the Woolhara Shopping Club. “We are exhilarated,” said Hashisham, the senior member of the MBG. Hashisham — who prefers to be addressed as Trixi and was dressed in an edgy, slashed sheath from Rodarte — added that “the rules will be strictly adhered to as we go forward. We are currently putting together a proposal for a show, like that nice Jennifer woman’s Tuesday Book Club thing on the ABC. But about Australian landscape art, you know?”
Crikey understands winners for future years have already been decided. Here’s an exclusive preview:
2011: ‘Proposal for a waterscape future (so what?)’ by Wett Briteley
Artist statement: “My work is about climate change and the unstoppable tsunami of coastal and population upheaval, including a reference to boat people — they’re the ones in the boat. Following tradition I am “quoting” historical art sources for my work. And yes, I am proud that people have referred to my work as ‘Leachly’.”
The AGNSW’s director, Edmund Capon: “When the picture came up … they [the judges] all thought: ‘What a wonderful painting — it looks like a late 17th-century Dutch landscape’. And that was my first instinct. So what?”
2012: ‘The Myth, The Wonder, The Beauty’ by Mel Nolan
Artist statement: “I don’t know what the fuss is about. We have lots of wheatfileds in western Victoria, it’s perfectly Australian.”
Prize judge, artist John Beard, defended Leach’s award with vigour, despite not sighting the original. “What matters is when I looked at it I felt the myth, the wonder, the beauty,” he said.
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