AFP beefs up on Christmas Island. With the federal government signing its refugee swap deal with Malaysia today, we’re told Australian Federal Police are sending a number of officers to Christmas Island “very soon” in order to deport asylum seekers to Malaysia.

Icke on why the Queen is a lizard. Forget Christopher Monckton — the self-described “most controversial speaker in the world”, David Icke, is headed for our shores. Reports one Crikey reader: “The man who warned us about the illuminati and shape-shifting alien lizards secretly running the world is having an antipodean tour, ‘The Lion Sleeps No More’, according to a poster spotted in one of the many groovy clothes shops in Newtown, Sydney. This time, he’s apparently pushing his conspiracy theory about the ‘Matrix’, which controls our minds and deludes our reality … or something.”

Icke describes himself as a “philosopher, spoken word performer, personality, theorist, free thinker, entertainer and above all else, truth seeker”. His series of books details our descent into a global fascist state, run by a secret cabal of reptilian humanoids, the Babylonian Brotherhood, which include George W Bush and Queen Elizabeth. Icke’s tour takes in Perth, the Gold Coast, Melbourne, Sydney and Auckland in September, October and November. Tickets, thankfully, are “still available in all five cities”.

Tele under Packer: ‘what lies’? Daily Telegraph editor Paul Whittaker believes the paper is “doing what it has always done” in prosecuting the anti-carbon tax case. As Crikey reported last week, that’s not quite true when looking back at its coverage of the GST in 1998. But at least the masthead’s culture has stayed the same, remembers one ex-journo, stemming from the period before Rupert Murdoch bought it from Frank Packer in 1972:

“In the mid-’60s and just starting out in journalism I worked for a year for Frank Packer’s Daily Telegraph. Young and idealistic, I was often sickened by the spin and bias. Finally after some intense soul searching I fronted up to the office of Bill Shields, then chief of staff, and said I could no longer work for The Telegraph because of ‘all the lies in the paper’. ‘What lies?’ was Bill’s somewhat disingenuous response. I stared at him speechless, and merely told him I would be leaving in a couple of weeks. Frankly, a year working for The Telegraph had blunted my journalistic ambitions.”

Carbon taxes and parking fees. Deakin University Vice Chancellor Professor Jane den Hollander announced a massive hike in parking fees in an email on Friday. And she’s blaming it, at least in part, on the carbon tax. She writes: “I don’t think we can keep building and maintaining car parks at the current fees we charge. It is not sustainable in a world where we will be charged for our carbon and where we must use our resources wisely and strategically. We need to bear in mind that we currently subsidise our car parks at the expense of our core business.”

Fees for daily and hourly parking will jump by 50% and annual permits rise to $400 for staff and $250 for students. Students aren’t happy; a Facebook page is running hot with complaints. Writes Tim Mannix: “Carbon footprint? Phhhhttt! What a pile of crap, just another money grab from an institution using climate change as an excuse. Get real Deakin!”