Jetstar incident over ‘suspicious article’. “I have it on good authority,” says an aviation insider, “that last night on JQ 672 from Sydney to Darwin, cabin crew found a suspicious article in the rear lavatory of the A320. Cabin crew advised the captain of the article and the action plan was carried out, ie. moving oxy bottles, pax, etc.” It’s unclear if the Civil Aviation Authority is looking into the incident, but according to our spy there was a litany of errors:

“Faced with distressed cabin crew who have already shown the captain photos of the suspected bomb (looked like plastic explosive on the bottom of the toilet with wires and batteries attached to it), he then tries to contact Jetstar and Qantas security. At that time of night, no contact could be made. Why ATC was not advised I do not know. The captain ignored the cabin crew’s requests to land the aircraft ASAP (Mt Isa was nearest suitable), but he elected to continue to fly for a further two hours. Remember at this stage he has had no advice from experts, had seen photos of the device which looked very nasty, and had told the crew if he diverts, they may be on the ground for an indeterminable amount of time. It was two hours later when Qantas security made contact and advised that the device was not a threat.”

As Crikey hit deadline Jetstar issued a statement:

“A suspicious article was found by cabin crew on board Jetstar flight JQ 672 Sydney-Darwin service this morning, 12 August 2011. Jetstar crew followed all standard safety operating procedures. The safety and security of the aircraft was never compromised. The aircraft landed safety at Darwin airport at 1.30 am this morning with 97 passengers on board and was by met by authorities. The aircraft was inspected by the authorities, who advised that the item was inert and posed no danger to the passengers and crew on board the aircraft. The aircraft has since returned to service.”

Virgin flights have no spirit. Elsewhere in the aviation sector, Virgin will struggle to attract corporate customers — particularly cashed-up miners — without better booze, according to one ex-staffer “who in a previous life spent my days shuttling miners out to the mines at a charter airline, and in yet another, serving in Business at QF”:

“Virgin Australia’s new in-flight menu is completely devoid of spirits. The new menu, which is up on the staff intranet, only has one beer (Pure Blonde — which is sure to be a hit with the miners). The only other options include ‘Australian Red’ or ‘Australian White’ (wines). Apparently, even the new business cabins will be devoid of spirits.  This seems to be a huge oversight. In my experience, the premium pax love to be treated to a G&T, vodka and orange, or a port or sherry. The miners guzzle the Jim Beam and Bundy like it’s going out of fashion. In fact, during my time working for the charter airline, increasing the on-board stock of beers, bourbon and rum became a negotiating point for the renewal of the contract, following numerous complaints from the miners/pax. Prior to increasing our stock, we would ALWAYS arrive back in Brisbane (after some seven hours of flying across the country from a remote mine site, with a stop in Mt Isa) with no beer, no spirits, no soft drinks and almost a full tray of light beer and wine. It’s trivial I know, but for an airline doing so much right, this just seems a blindingly obvious mistake.”

Smart pants for Victorian cops. Victorian police officers are getting spiffy new uniforms. And coppers got a sneak peak today. In rhyme, no less. Writes one: “Coppers opening up the Intranet Bulletin Board this morning were greeted with the following hyperlink: ‘Love me tender, Love me Blue, Uniform specs are here to view.’ Which sent them to some spec sheets for various items of clothing, one of which is designated … ‘Tactical Pants’.”