At 2pm tomorrow, Tony Abbott will rise to his feet in the House of Representatives for his first question time as Prime Minister. His task: to prove that this highly successful opposition attack dog can head up an effective and capable government. Facing him across the historic wooden dispatch box will be Bill Shorten, whose task is to transform the ALP from the divided party of recent years into a progressive and principled force.
There can only be one winner.
Shorten will be seeking to expose the Coalition government’s weak spots and errors from the get-go. So should he focus on “turning back the boats,” climate change or MPs rorting their expense accounts? Perhaps Abbott’s Achilles’ heel is the ever-widening budget deficit, or that mysterious $9 billion payment to the Reserve Bank? What about the Commission of Audit and the possibility it will recommend privatising Australia Post?
We threw this task open to our readers, asking you to submit your zingers for a Crikey fantasy question time. Here are the best. Let’s hope Shorten has a read before he jumps to his feet at 2pm tomorrow …
On the economy
“Mr Abbott, if a budget is a plan for how you raise revenue and how you spend it, has it not been Joe Hockey’s budget since the day you were elected? Why is Joe Hockey’s budget already predicted to be $15 billion worse than the one Labor took to the people at the election?” — Jon
“Mr Abbott, we have not seen the debt truck for some time. Where have you parked it?” — David Wilson
“My question is for Joe Hockey. Mr Hockey, where is the budget emergency hiding?” — Bryan
On climate change
“What form of evidence would the Prime Minister find sufficiently clear and compelling to convince him of the necessity to implement a workable, effective and affordable mechanism for reducing greenhouse gasses emissions?” — Michael Lew
“Could the Prime Minister please explain which scientific reports and publications played a significant role in his apparent conversion from climate change denier to believer?” — Craig Campbell
On boat arrivals
“In light of his policy to ‘stop the boats’, does the Prime Minister plan to alter the words to the Australian national anthem and, I quote, ‘For those who come across the sea, we’ve boundless plains to share’, to something that is more in keeping with his current policy?” — David Hardie
“Mr Abbott, have you stopped the boats yet, or just the reporting of them?” — “Mr Rabbit”
Other topics and general rabble-rousing
“Since the Coalition government is so concerned with Australian freedoms, and is actively taking an interest in the legality of the laws of some territories or states, can the Prime Minister please advise when it will be taking legal action against those states that have introduced laws curtailing the rights of some citizens to associate and hold meetings, as this clearly impinges on their freedom of association?” — “WA-side”
“Would the Prime Minister please inform the House what brand of gag is being used so effectively on his ministers, and where he bought them?” — Justin
“If the school kids’ bonus is axed, then parents/carers will go back to recording school expenses as tax deductions, which means higher earners will receive more back from the Tax Department than lower-income-earners. How is that fair? And will axing the school kids’ bonus save any money at all?” — Jeanie
“Why is there no original thought in the Liberal Party?” — Mike Presland
“Mr Abbott, in defending the decision not to tax superannuants whose super earns $100,000 in a year, you said that the Coalition believed in supporting aspirational people. At what income or superannuation savings level does a person become ‘aspirational’ in order to get tax benefits from a Coalition government, and how would you describe those people on incomes of $37,000 or less whose super benefits are being cut? Supplementary question: why does the Coalition think that those on lower incomes are less deserving of tax breaks on their super than the wealthy?” — Jenny
Given that the prime minister seems to frequently favour seeking forgiveness over permission, has the PM been to confession since his appointment? Supplementary question: how many policy acts are required forgiveness?” — “The Cardinal”
*Think you can do better? Leave a comment. We’ll let you know if any of these are asked on Wednesday; tune in if you want to see for yourself.
A few questions that Labor could ask the Prime Minister or Environment Minister at Question time:
1. does the Prime Minister believe that climate change is real and largely a result of human activity?
2. Is the Government committed to reducing Australia’s carbon emissions by 5 to 25% by 2020.
2a. (if answered yes to question 2) Does the Government have a plan to meet this commitment?
2b. (If yes to 2a) Can the environment minister explain to the House how this plan will work to meet the commitment?
No clear answer to 1 or 2 means ‘No’, in which case the Liberal Party was not straight with the voters in the lead up to the election. The follow up question is (3) why is the Government planning to spend $4 billion to fix a problem they don’t believe exists?
2b will be answered, if at all, by a lot of blather about the ‘Carbon Tax’, which would mean ‘No’, in which case follow up with (3).
I remind the Prime Minister of his statements when in opposition that Whyalla would be wiped off the map. Now that he is in government and the budget emergency is over, what funds has he committed to the re-building of this City?
1. Will the Prime Minister give his assurance that repealing carbon pricing will result in quick reductions power prices and flow ons to other areas and a reduction in the CPI of at least half a percent? (being generous there).
2. Can the Prime Minister explain to the House how the government will prevent power companies and other businesses from pocketing the savings resulting from the repeal of carbon pricing? Can he assure the House that this will be accomplished without intrusive regulation or price controls (a.k.a. red tape).
3. Will the Prime Minister sign a pledge ‘in blood’ that power prices will drop by 9% within three months of the repeal of carbon pricing becoming effective. Will he undertake to resign if this does not occur.
Stop the boats, buy the boats, hide the boats – what boats?
Questione to Mr Abbott or Morrison;
(1)You opposed the cooperation with Malaysia strategy which was a major element of Labor’s and the expert panel’s policy on asylum seeker issues on the grounds that Malaysia is not a signatory of the UN Refugee Convention and yet you are determined to turn the boats back to another non-signatory nation. Isn’t this the height of hypocrisy and a demonstration that you care more for votes than the welfare of these unfortunate people?
(2) Mr Abbott, you want to reduce Australia’s intake of refugees from 20,000 to 12,000 while pursuing a “turn back the boats” policy. What countries do you think should now accept these refugees who will never call Australia home. What other countries should now shoulder the burden of Australia’s reduced humanitarian responsibilities?