From the Crikey grapevine, the latest tips and rumours …
Are you being served? The Australian Open kicks off today, launching two weeks of some of the best tennis in the world, but also some of the best people-watching, which is where our talents lie at Crikey. As has been noted elsewhere, the event is a huge part of Channel Seven’s promotional schedule (and we’re not just talking about ads for My Kitchen Rules). It’s where Seven bosses wine and dine key advertisers and business partners — and CEO Tim Worner is usually in the thick of it. Will it be a bit awkward this year, just weeks out from news of his affair with Amber Harrison and allegations of more affairs and drug use? And which pollies will brave being photographed courtside after the recent expenses scandals engulfing government ministers? We already know Trade Minister Steve Ciobo thinks it’s perfectly fine to charge the taxpayer for attendance at sporting events, but who will actually turn up?
Dastyari puts on his blue suede shoes. Labor Senator Sam Dastyari has been spending a lot of time doing the Jailhouse Rock as penance for the donations scandal that cost him his job in the shadow cabinet, but now he’s possibly found a new calling in life as an Elvis impersonator tribute artist. Dastyari visited the NSW town of Parkes on the weekend, where the 25th annual Elvis festival descends on the town in January each year to pay homage to the King of Rock’n’Roll. Dastyari first interviewed Elvis fans about his prospects of impersonating Elvis and was told those dressed in jumpsuits with sunglasses and wigs were called “tribute artists”, not impersonators. By the end of the video we see Dastyari himself in full Elvis mode, dressed as “halal Elvis”. We had suspicious minds, but he does a decent job.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Trump enters the Twilight Zone. A Scottish newspaper has sent up US President-elect Donald Trump in its television guide, with a witty description of the ceremony for Trump’s inauguration, to be televised on Friday (Saturday in Australia). The Scottish Sunday Herald writes:
“President Trump: The Inauguration (4pm, BBC One/STV)
After a long absence, The Twilight Zone returns with one of its most ambitious, expensive and controversial productions in broadcast history. Sci-fi writers have dabbled often with alternative history stories — among the most common is the “What If The Nazis Had Won The Second World War” setting — but this huge interactive virtual reality project, which will unfold on TV, in the press, and on Twitter over the next four years, sets out to build an ongoing alternative present. The story begins in a nightmarish version of 2017 in which huge sections of the US electorate have somehow been duped into voting to make Donald Trump president. It sounds far-fetched, and it is, but as it goes on it becomes more and more chillingly plausible. Today’s feature-length opener concentrates on the gaudy inauguration of President Trump, and the stirrings of protest and despair surrounding the ceremony, while pundits speculate gravely on what lies ahead. It’s a flawed piece, but a disturbing glimpse of the horrors we could stumble into, if we’re not careful.”
The most coveted invitation. Speaking of the inauguration, guess who has been invited? One Nation Senator Pauline Hanson tweeted today she had “been gifted tickets” to the ceremony. “What an honour!” she wrote in a tweet tagging President-elect Trump. She’d have to get on a plane quick smart to be in Washington DC in time, but she says she’ll have to respectfully decline due to work commitments here.
Hanson isn’t the only notable Australian to be invited to see in the Trump era. Australian Christian Lobby director Lyle Shelton will be in Washington to attend an inauguration ball (but not the actual ceremony). Have you heard of any other Australians who will be there to officially usher Trump into the White House? Drop us a line here, or you can stay anonymous.
F-35 fails again. New year, same headlines when it comes to the beleaguered F-35 Joint Strike Fighter. This time it’s a Pentagon report listing 276 “deficiencies in combat performance”, which is kind of exactly what its meant to be able to do. The report, by the Pentagon’s outgoing director of combat testing Michael Gilmore, is damning, and it is estimated it will cost half a billion dollars to extend the August 2017 Initial Operational Test and Evaluation deadline. Australia has committed to purchasing 72 of the planes, but Donald Trump is making it look less and less likely the US wants them at all.
*Heard anything that might interest Crikey? Send your tips to boss@crikey.com.au or use our guaranteed anonymous form
If Trump scraps the F-35 JSF he may actually save us from ourselves. In the short term.
Can we bill John Howard for our wasted costs for the F35 dud. He unilaterally decided to buy them without consulting anyone other than Lockheed spruikers. The RAAF were in the middle of a detailed assessment of our next generation fighter options when he had to tell them don’t bother I have made a decision for you.
If I recall correctly we can blame this directly on Brendan Nelson who was Defence Minister at the time.
Back then it was a mystery why nobody challenged this dumb decision (a result of the usual brown-nosing of Dubya Bush) when several retired defence honchos firmly condemned it. The latter no longer had careers at risk & were able to speak frankly.
Zut I think you will find Brendan was the fall guy for this decision. Johnny was the one who committed to the purchase while he was in the US joining up with George Dubblya’s coalition of the unthinking! No doubt Johnny wanted to be liked by our betters in the US so he signed us up for a few billion in high tech flying scrap metal or is it carbon fibre these days?
Bush’s economy was going through a rough patch, Howard was just helping him out.
So should we hope for Marine Le pen to save us from the equally ludicrous submarine contract – 50 years of fukwittery when even the Yapping Poodle will be in his dotage.
“Have you heard of any other Australians who will be there to officially usher Trump into the White House? Drop us a line here, or you can stay anonymous.”
Joe Hockey? I don’t know, but as Aussie Ambassador to the USA, you’d expect him to be there.
It’s an invitation the overwhelming majority of Australians would not want listed on their CVs.
However some people get their jollies as voyeurs at the scene of an accident.
I don’t really have much time for Hockey or Trump, but it’d be a bit insulting if he didn’t get invited.
What about Julie Bishop should or did she get an invite?
At the polo?
To hear Talcum speak of having too much work to do here to attend reminds me of the Aesop fable of the failed fox.