Satirist and muckraker Ben Pobjie has unearthed, via special journalistic techniques only available to comedians, Bob Katter’s 15-point legislative wishlist, in full.
Katter’s Australian Party
Legislative Agenda for Sitting Week Beginning Monday 27 November
Bills to be debated and passed before return of the “government” to parliament
- A Bill for the Reduction of Crocodile Dismemberments to One (1) every Six (6) Months
- A Bill for the legalisation of marriage for the gays with appropriate protections for religious freedom, i.e. blokes can marry blokes but don’t have to if they don’t want to
- A Bill to Establish a Future Fund for the Provision of services to Crocodiles
- A Bill for Large Hats and for Related Purposes
- A Motion that Parliament observe a moment of silence for the death of the word “gay” meaning “happy”
- A Bill for reducing congestion in cities through a Subsidy Fund for motorists who wish to convert to horse transport
- A Bill for a Thousand Blossoms to Bloom AKA the Horticultural Multiplicity Bill 2017
- A Motion to designate the broken trampoline as Australia’s official National Hard Rubbish Item
- A Bill to establish an Independent Inquiry into Gay Marriage, Crocodile Attacks, and whether one causes the other
- A Bill to establish a peak summit enabling human and crocodile leaders to meet and discuss their differences with a view to peaceful resolution
- A Bill to permit marriage between a man and a cow
- A Motion that Parliament recognise Lee Kernaghan as Australia’s greatest living artist
- An Amendment to the man-cow marriage bill, specifying that only live cows may marry and not steaks or chops
- A Bill to enshrine the 18th of July as National Kingswood Country Watching Day
- A Bill to grant limited self-government to crocodiles
Big hats are a good idea in this sunburnt country. Big mouths unfortunately are already endemic.
say what you like about bob katter, but in his own way he cares and looks after his electorate fiercely, admittedly in a pecular way, but then its a pecular electorate, he doesn`t advocate cutting pensions or dole payments or slashing health or education and understands that giving ordinary people decent wages is really the way to go for a fair and decent economy, unlike the scourges of humanity, the national, liberal or one nation parties, the bulk of which is made up of professional bludgers who treat the tax payer has their personal benefactor with a bonus now and then from big business and the wealthy for services rendered, and its time journalist took a a close look into pauline hanson`s pre politics use of the welfare system seeing as she`s so critical of anybody else receiving any form payments from the australian welfare system, its usually the bludging hypocrites that begrudge others from their just and fair entitlements
Yes its easy to find fault but some other good things he has raised is foreign ownership and also people ripping off aboriginal designs and souvenirs! He does have his moments though! 😉
I think Katter wants to increase the culling of crocodiles, not limit them, but the rest seem plausible. Most of KAP’s policies contradict themselves. He wants greater efficiency in education, to overhaul the entire system, to pay teachers more and for it to cost less. There must be less bureaucracy and less central control, power must reside in principals and teachers, but it must be world class, and meet the needs of the nation as a whole. The really funny bit is that teachers are to decide the metrics of “student growth”, and will also be the ones rewarded upon completion of that very same metric. No conflict there then. Seriously, he is nuts.