Scrambling to stay ahead of the crisis that has engulfed his government, Scott Morrison has unveiled a reshuffled ministerial line up that illustrates the dearth of talent within his parliamentary ranks.
The two biggest changes are, as expected, the ill Linda “lying cow” Reynolds being replaced at Defence by Peter Dutton, and Michaelia Cash being promoted to attorney-general and minister for industrial relations. Christian Porter, whose litigation against the ABC made his continuation as attorney-general wholly untenable, is demoted to the Industry portfolio.
The vacant Home Affairs portfolio goes to Karen Andrews, promoted from Industry, while Reynolds has been moved down to Government Services and the NDIS. Stuart Robert will take Cash’s portfolio of Employment. Another promotion is that of the invisible and poorly regarded Defence Industry Minister Melissa Price, who retains her job and comes into cabinet.
Morrison also unveiled a bizarre set of ministerial arrangements to demonstrate his commitment to gender issues. Jane Hume will take on a role of “Women’s Economic Security” — a remarkable title given Hume’s most recent debacle was a failed attempt to push domestic violence victims to tap into their own superannuation.
Anne Ruston will also take on the role of “Women’s Safety”. Marise Payne, who has been entirely invisible as the government has been smashed by gender issues in recent weeks, will remain minister for women and will be, in Morrison’s words, “effectively the prime minister” of Hume and Rushton, along with right-wing Queensland senator Amanda Stoker, who will be an assistant minister.
The shift of Dutton from Home Affairs, where he has presided over billions of dollars’ worth of procurement debacles, to Defence, which is mired in a number of major defence materiel disasters, bodes poorly for the government regaining control of its defence spending, especially with the inexplicable return of Price to cabinet.
Cash is wholly unfit to be attorney-general given her refusal to cooperate with an Australian Federal Police investigation into possible crimes committed in her own office.
Why it’s OK for Australians with disabilities and welfare recipients to be looked after by Reynolds when she’s not fit for the defence portfolio is another mystery, along with why Porter can remain in cabinet while unexamined allegations of rape remain against him, no matter how vehemently he denies them (as he does).
As for Payne being “prime minister” for women, Morrison has picked the one minister who has performed even more poorly than he has in responding to the gender issues that have engulfed them since the start of February. But at least further failings by the government on that front can now be blamed on a woman, not Morrison himself.
It’s such a scummy thing calling her the prime minister for women. Like mate, you’re the prime minister for women because you’re the PM.
But it’s hardly a surprise that Scotty’s solution to the crisis is to parcel out responsibility to now four women who can take the fall when the next scandal breaks.
Apparently the story now is that we all misheard him. He really said “Primary” minister for women, not “Prime” minister. Silly us.
So, instead of primus inter pares, he really meant primaria inter mulieres?
Someone so follically challenged as SmoKo ought not to split hairs – he has too few to spare.
Agni knows Latin and everybody should be aware of that – got it peeps.
Romanes eunt domus
Nos omnes individils!
What is wrong with knowing Latin and how to use it?
Pip pip old chap/ oh, I say, what?
Are you sure he wasn’t taken out of context?
I’m sure he was…
Correction. Not four women, 3 women and Marise Payne.
I can image him smirking in front of the bathroom mirror as he practiced this line. Then that smug smirk again as he ran it past Jen for the Kitchen Test, and again when he ran it past the boys for the Pub Test………the smirk by now so big it consumed his entire face.
Dutton’s ambition exceeds his ability by several orders of magnitude…
He does look the part though… just needs a black eye patch to complete the picture
Hilarious
Cabinet should be retitled under the trade practices Act as circus because it’s full of clowns.
Can’t wait to see them all jump out of that tiny car.
A train crash waiting to happen.
Great work BK, but not quite hilarious Shaun…I am struggling to smile.
Scott Ludlam nailed it today with his description of a “fevered shitscape” that 55% of rusted on LNP voters still approve of – it beggars belief.
Not really – it’s the old boys scout club 65 years on waiting for judgement day. They want it to be over during their lifetime. Eternal life and all that. Silly little boys grown into silly little big boys. Delusional self importance. Female supporters are just the same. Brownies to women’s associations. Self righteous silly little girls to self righteous silly big girls.
News just in:
The entire LNP have gone on indefinite sick leave to have empathy training in Hawaii.
With a day trip to the Caymans Islands for some last minute banking before the masses find out….
Cash as AG… FFS! I stopped reading there… the whole country needs to go on medical leave now.. seriously.
I can’t wait to see her display her legal acumen in front of the high court- the Rudy Guilliani of Australian politics.
I thought she was the bob down of ozpolitic
Dutton in charge of the military……………..
Why not put him in charge of a flotilla to police the South China Seas?
Can we snd him into the South China Sea in a leaky old fishing boat? That I would enjoy.
He will love it, you’ll see.
I don’t know how the rest will manage, though.
Same people, same incompetence, similarly compromised, same ideas. The only change is a different arse on a chair, figuratively speaking.
Surprisingly some media seems to be on to it!
Though some will undoubtedly say that today he became real primeministerial!