For a lot of men, the recent revelations of sexual harassment have come as a surprise. Not so much for women who have experienced sexual violence and discrimination since childhood, puberty and beyond.
To illustrate this point, Crikey asked three high-school-aged girls to share examples of sexual harassment they’ve experienced in recent days, months and years.
At a high school in Sydney, aged 16: “A boy in the year above approached me around 8.30 in the morning and asked me for pictures of my feet. I told him it was inappropriate and he walked away.”
On Instagram, aged 16: “I got sent a message saying, ‘You looking for a sugar daddy to take care of your needs and spoil you financially without any sexual activity and pay you weekly allowance’.”
At a park in Sydney, aged 12: “A group of older boys threw rocks at me and my younger sister. We were really scared.”
On Instagram, aged 13: “An old man from India told me he’d pay for our wedding if I agreed to marry him. I was scared that he would find me even if I deleted the message.”
On Instagram, aged 15: “A man asked me to be his ‘sugar baby’ and to give me $7000 a week via PayPal. He said: ‘I was glancing through profiles when I saw your profile so pretty … my interest has been piqued so I thought I should contact you.'”
At a high school in Sydney, aged 15: “A bunch of boys walked up to us at recess and told us we all had ‘dicks drawn on our foreheads’.”
On Instagram, aged 13: “An old man offered me $4000 if I would FaceTime him. I was scared and deleted the message.”
Sydney CBD, aged 17: “We were catcalled and yelled at when walking through the city with a group of friends at night by a man on the other side of the street who yelled ‘damn!'”
At a high school in Sydney, aged 15: “While running during PE class, a group of 10-15 boys jeered at us girls running, making ‘bouncing’ sounds and air groping their own chests. A teacher told them to stop once, but the boys continued.”
On chat website Omegle, aged 15: “My girlfriend and I looked at this website that everyone was using that connects you to random people. An older guy asked us for photos of our feet for $200. It wasn’t anything sexual for us, so we did it and he put $200 in a PayPal account. It felt like it was a bit creepy so we didn’t do it again, but I would if I needed the money.”
On Instagram, aged 16: “An older man offered me $1000 if I would send him my school shoes. I didn’t do it because I needed my school shoes.”
On Instagram, aged 17: “A guy asked me if I would sell my clothes for $1000. There are so many examples [of] being offered money for ‘companionship’ or because I’m pretty. They say [there’ll be] no sex.”
At a high school in Sydney, aged 14: “A classmate called me a ‘gorilla’ at lunch [for my body hair].”
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault or violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au.
Survivors of abuse can find support by calling Bravehearts at 1800 272 831 or the Blue Knot Foundation at 1300 657 380. The Kids Helpline is 1800 55 1800.
Reading these comments just brought back a flood of things that happened when I was aged between 12 and 15 and how scared I was then. Later, into my twenties, I give verbals right back. There were two close calls on rape happening but I became so angry that I fought with all my strength, and told them both one of us would die and it wouldn’t be me. How dare any man think he has any right to take what he wants of a woman’s body?
Most men are titstarers, so next time you find yourself doing it please realise that you are part of the problem and sort yourself out. Men casually scare women and think it’s normal. Weak men do it. It’s a sign of weakness.
When out with my 16 year old daughter, I often have to stare down men who think it’s ok to leer at her as we walk past. Usually these perverts are with their partners and young children, and don’t like it when I challenge them with a ‘you right mate?’ Pathetic.
Gross
What is the thought process that leads to this sense of entitlement to power over others? Why are our boys and men so insecure in their sense of self that they feel the need to prey on girls and young women? And when called out for we make excuses about ‘upbringing’ and ‘boys will be boys’ when there are so many examples of the opposite in similar circumstances?
Boys – young and old – let’s stop blame shifting and start owning our actions individually and collectively.
Left, right and centre!
Yep sad that nothing much has changed since I was young. I was rated on the clothes I was wearing by the boys at high school. Another time I was also cat called and harassed just walking down the street to buy an ice cream – I’d deliberately worn daggy clothing and a big hat to try to avoid exactly that. I chose a different path home but the same group of men followed me and continued to harass me most of my way home. I was humiliated, embarrassed and terrified.
I am sorry you had to go through that.
Also, nothing reduces young women to livestock like an effing rating system. How about schools join us in the 21st century and stamp that sh*t out.
I work as a teacher and this is depressingly “the norm”. Men need to be better.
Really Rob? I seem to have blury memories of the end of year Grad Dip Ed party / function / dinner / debauche (of some decades ago) where if David Hume could out-consume then the feminine brigade did justice to themselves too.
“Look, look, she did it too!” screams the boy… and what of the man, Erasmus?
If this article has triggered men such as yourself then please, please, spare a thought for the survivors of such abuse.
And, yes, that includes male victims too.
I can second this. During the coronavirus outbreak, I reluctantly allowed my Year 12s to form a class-based instagram account for me so that we could more easily announce / arrange zoom sessions. What I saw on the girls’ pages (both the images they felt compelled to share and the comments they were receiving) was close to traumatising.
Young people need serious training / education about how to live with social media. This ‘need’ that so many, perfectly healthy and well balanced young women have to post photos of themselves, often in bikinis, is frightening, sick and dangerous. It was probably a valuable experience for you seeing all of this. When are we going to grow out of the ‘hot or not’ culture of assessing women?