The iconic Peter Allen song turned highly successful Qantas advert “I still call Australia home” has been given a 2021 twist by comedian and ABC Radio Melbourne breakfast host Sammy J, with his recent rendition of “I can’t call Australia home“, co-written with Chris McDonald and James Pender.
The satirical song features a smiling choir shrouded in white, perfectly enunciating lines such as “if you come home we’ll jail ya“. It also fires well-aimed jabs at the seemingly racist travel ban on Australians in India and the absurdity of young Australians forced to pay huge amounts of money to try to get home from places like the UK. Zac Efron also cops a whack.
As Sydney Morning Herald journalist Latika Bourke tweeted, it’s “the utterly searing, truth-telling take we’ve all been waiting for”.
Here are the lyrics in full:
I’ve been to cities that always lock down
From Paris to Auckland and old London town
Now I’m stuck overseas and my chances are blown
I can’t call Australia home
I moved to the UK in 2019
Now I spend my days refreshing my screen
Tried to book me a flight but the flights have all flown
I can’t call Australia home
All the tennis players flying round the world
Quarantining in a luxury suite
While my hope of returning is earning
10,000 bucks to secure my seat
Well I saw Zac Efron in Byron Bay
He passed me and muttered and awkward “g’day”
Cause he knew what we knew, that it’s not OK
How come he calls Australia home?
My mates an Aussie of Indian descent
His mum died last week so to Mumbai he went
And it seems a bit harsh, how could he have known?
He’d be locked up for trying to come home.
So this is how it is then, our citizens
Are abandoned in a dangerous place
And as they struggle copin’, I’m hopin’
It’s not to do with the colour of their face
And some day we’ll all be together once more
When we’re sharing a cell on a cold cement floor
But ’til then I’m stranded and I feel so alone
Cause I can’t call Australia
(If you come home we’ll jail ya)
Yeah I can’t call Australia
(We’re sorry Michael Slater)
Yeah we can’t call Australia home
Watched it last night at 6:57. “utterly searing” is an excellent description.
Clarke and Dawe were a hard act to follow but Sammy J is equal to the task.
And a shout out to the ABC for keeping on with humour in that segment.
Brilliant.
No wonder the LNP want to start a war with China. They desperately need a distraction from all their stuff ups. Trouble is a war with China would be another stuff up.
WHY do Hollywood B grade actors get to come & go? Why is Hollywood in Australia? Zac can Effron right back home to the USA as far as I am concerned, & we can start bringing AUSTRALIAN citizens home from India instead.
A superb parody ringing with truth.