Those randy British politicians are just so far behind ours. Over the weekend we saw a senior minister in the UK government resign over improper relations with a staff member — while here in Australia we were busily reinstating one accused of the same offence.
Not just one, mind. The Morrison government can now boast a cabinet full of grubs (well, at least more than previously) after yesterday’s reshuffle brought on by Barnaby Joyce’s second coming. So, welcome back all the gropers, the rorters, the drunks, the deniers, the imbeciles and sycophants collectively known as the federal Nationals.
As foreshadowed in Crikey by Bernard Keane, the well-regarded, competent Veterans Affairs Minister Darren Chester was dumped purely for spite to be replaced by Bridget “sports rorts” McKenzie.
As Guardian Australia’s Amy Remeikis tweeted: “With Bridget McKenzie’s return to the cabinet, there is now no one who has suffered any long-term consequences for any actions in this government. They’re all back where they started.”
Probably lucky, then, the nation was in the grip of a surging pandemic crisis to focus attention away from the ugly Nationals spectacle.
On the upside, the weekend also saw the demise of Nationals Senator Sam “maggotted” McMahon. She lost her Northern Territory slot to the Indigenous conservative Jacinta Price. It was sad personal news for the senator who earlier in the week blamed “sad personal news” for her unseemly unsteady behaviour in the Senate chamber, which required her Coalition colleagues to escort her to the exit.
Some accused her of being “trolleyed”, “off her head” and even “maggotted” in a damning SMH story on Thursday. Hard to believe that was not even going to be the low point of her week.
And if Prime Minister Scott Morrison wants to see what having a feral Nats deputy leader in the government feels like, he need look no further than the embattled NSW government. As Premier Gladys Berejiklian desperately tries to contain her health and political crisis, she can always rely on the public and private support of her “loyal” deputy premier, Nats Leader John Barilaro.
In shades of Morrison vowing to attend the footy at the start of the pandemic last year, Barilaro tweeted yesterday: “Despite the growing risk of COVID-19 in Greater Sydney, we will not be giving up our right to host the State of Origin decider.” He added that he had spoken to NRL chair Peter V’landys about holding it in Newcastle if health authorities are concerned. Good to know he’d spoken to the man he thinks runs the state rather than the woman who should.
Meanwhile, in the more staid world of Westminster politics, UK Health Secretary Matt Hancock finally fell on his sword after racy photos emerged earlier in the week of him kissing and fondling an aide in his office. It’s not entirely clear if the hanging offence was breaching a staff bonking ban (aka “a Joyce”) or because as health minister he had flagrantly broken his own lockdown rules.
Obviously, COVID and canoodling don’t mix even in the sleazy Boris Johnson government. But Hancock can take heart from our own Barnaby affair that a sin-bin in politics is not always forever.
What sort of penalty do you think misbehaving politicians should pay? Write to letters@crikey.com.au, and don’t forget to include your full name if you’d like to be considered for publication.
“the more staid world of Westminster politics” is, presumably, sarcasm. The description in this articleof Hancock’s conduct as a minister is woefully lacking. The greedy, blundering, dim-witted, hypocritical, self-serving weasel effortlessly combines and exceeds several of the worst elements of Angus Tayor, Bridget MacKenzie and Barnaby Joyce.
His mishandling of the covid crisis leaves him responsible for many tens of thousand of unnecessary deaths. His ministerial performance was so awful he provoked Boris Johnson to an uncharacteristic outburst of honesty, describing Hancock in terms that will not get past Crikey’s modbot. Hancock repeatedly bypassed procurement rules to hand contracts for hundreds of millions of pounds to mates and family, as well as companies in which he has a direct interest. This included a contract for a bloke running a wine bar favoured by Hancock. The failures of these shonks and grifters to deliver on the contracts helped fuel the covid disaster that has crippled the UK. His extramarital affair is a Joycean tale, with Hancock appointing his secret mistress to plum jobs at tax payer expense while railing at the British public about the need to avoid any contact with anyone. The mistress, a friend of Hancock’s from university days, was also appointed by Hancock to an unpaid role in the body that oversees the Ministry of Health – so her job was to judge Hancock’s performance. Hancock was notably brutal to Prof Neil Ferguson some time back after Ferguson met his girl friend in a breach of Hancock’s social distancing rules, which made Hancock’s hypocrisy particularly blatant.
But as usual, even when a minister is forced out, it’s always for something relatively trivial. Hancock should be in prison.
If Gina Coladangelo (the femme fatale in this epic love story) married the Minister and took his name, she’d be Gina Hancock. The parallel with Joyce’s form is closer than you might think.
Agree, but both UK Tories and LNP (like the GOP) follow or are compelled to participate in policy objectives of NewsCorp and Koch linked think tanks; with many MP candidates competing on incompetence, lack of ethics and moral compasses (‘whatever it takes’)
For example, defunding/hollowing out the public sector to make unfit for purpose, austerity, delaying or opposing good policies or legislation (that may hurt big business), catering to ageing electorates, both dog whistling and withdrawing from long standing trade partners etc..
Since Darren Chester is about the only high profile Nat, that seems both likable and competent, Barnyard was always going to get rid of him. Perhaps it’s time for Darren to return the favour and became an independent?
Hope he remembers to turn the lights off when he leaves. Or better still: at the next Nationals social get together, lock all the doors, and leave a plentiful supply of alcohol and armaments.
If Chester is that good, why doesn’t Morrison give him a Ministry and get rid of one of his current duds – he’s spoilt for choice on that front.
A good politician would show up the rest of the ragtag grifters that pass for a government?
Surely he must be tempted to do something; his response to Joyce and outburst regarding Melbourne was strained…..
Will Barnyard now replace the name of his party to be more representative of his politics , how about the ROOTERS AND RORTERS PARTY OF AUSTRALIA ,
Darren Chester was the only competent minister in the entire coallition.
Merit my arse.
I imagine Morrison must be glad to be rid of Chester. His demotion by an experienced minister and party leader like Joyce clearly indicates he was unsuitable for a Ministry in the first place. And Morrison prides himself on the talent at hand in his dud-free Cabinet.
Not too impressed with your remarks about the National party.
You were far too complimentary.
Remember this iteration of Barnaby is a “better person”.
The same bloke that ditched the only decent, honourable minister they had and brought back-wait for it-McKenzie.
Makes you wonder how things would look if Joyce hadn’t “changed” at all….