Trivial Grievances: On the contradictions, myths and misery of your 30s. Bridie Jabour
A couple of years ago I read an article in the Guardian Australia opinion section which was so compelling that it made me physically enact the cliché and sit up straight in my chair.
One tends to read the Guardian slumped — or people of my age and politics do — out of a repeated disappointment that does not diminish with repetition. One returns to it again and again hoping for the hard-edged, thoroughly left, world-involved source it once was only to find that much of it (by no means all) is like an episode of mass hysterical fainting at a wellness spa.
The article in question was in that genre, but it also had the hard edge. Its 31-year-old author said that she was unhappy and that all her friends were unhappy too — and not unhappy in a vaguely ticked-off way. Their unhappiness ran deeper and presented them with a sense that maybe life would not be able to deliver the goods as promised, at all.
The piece felt to me like a blow to the face — and I suspect to many of the half-million or so other readers it acquired in the next few days. Its force was not least because it was by the Guardian’s Australian edition opinion page editor, Bridie Jabour — hitherto best known, to me anyway, for her perfect peak-Guardian article “Don’t fat shame Clive Palmer”. But in this new piece, there was no trace of a hot take. She talked directly of what others had danced around: in their early 30s, many from a whole age cohort felt that nothing — not career success, wild life, love or parenthood — satisfied in a way that would assuage a basic unhappiness-in-the-world, a sense of time and place being out of joint, persistently, unpleasantly.
The piece was useful not merely information, but also as confirmation of what one had observed, or thought one had. From an external vantage point — Gen X, whose youth of AIDS, Thatcher-Reagan and acid rain was no barrel of laughs — so many millennials seemed so miserable, living in a space of tremulous angst that appeared to be without solace. Given climate change, cavernous inequality, the struggle for interesting work and the crappiness of a lot of it when you got there, the self-surveillance of callout culture and much more, it was no wonder. But was once just mistaken hardworking people letting off steam, and a little whininess, for a cultural crisis? Jabour’s article suggested not, and was thus of great value.
Viral articles create book contracts, which then have to be fulfilled, and thus there is Trivial Grievances, which purports to be a lengthy treatment of that millennial malaise. That it’s not, is, Jabour claims, because she found out her generation wasn’t any more or less unhappy than previous generations, and so the book became a personalised study of the contours and textures of everyday life in the millennial media class.
The sneaking suspicion of the reader might be that a generational culture study suddenly looked daunting, and so an approach was taken of asking a few mates and a couple of stray authors what they reckoned, grabbing things coming across on the net, and adding it to what the author reckons, and there’s your book. In the process, the work drops into that less-than-useful genre, generational advocacy. Thus there is a defence of smartphone addiction and an argument that there is no difference between an experience done for itself or for an Instagram moment (p73-4), and later an excoriation of 20-something clichéd travel for the Instagram moment (p173). It’s easy, but a cop out, to blame capitalism, and saying “neoliberalism” makes you sound intellectual on p148, but on p252 believing that “money, marriage, babies” will make you happy is “a trick of capitalism”. And so on.
In between there are stories from Uber drivers, aged aunts, televised reports of tsunamis — and the author’s spending diary for a week occupies nine pages. There’s some quite sustained good stuff on black-white relations, and on the relationship between capitalism as it now is, and identity, later on. But there’s also a fair bit of vamping to fill. “Pain is pain. Suffering is suffering. If you feel bad, you feel bad” (p248). K thx bye. Ach, you don’t say that any more, do you?
Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel? Does this matter much? Not really, per se. Books-from-articles are usually no better than they need to be, and Jabour is a pacy, even if lightweight, writer with a journalist’s skill for punchy sentences, even if they lack content. No, the problem with the book is that it appears to have reversed the line of inquiry announced in the article — that of a specific generational condition. I’m not demanding that any book come down in the affirmative, simply that it investigate what seems a somewhat urgent question.
When the world arranges for there to be, simultaneously, a school system that makes kids more scientifically literate than ever before, and the prospect of 3-4 degrees warming over their lifetimes, when inequality yawns so wide that millions will be confined to lives that show little progress towards security, when the market has so occupied every space of culture that there is a rending down to equivalence, and when the new technologies that make all this possible create atomising networks of self-surveillance and callout, then it’s possible that something has happened.
Watching millennial life from a participant-semi-observant vantage, the impression is that the new forms of inteconnection leave people feeling and being far more isolated, connection far more provisional, all of it conducted in a world which appears to have exhausted the transformative potential of modernity, but removed the consolations of religion or revolutionary politics.
But I don’t know whether that’s true, or whether it just looks that way to me because I still use a rotary dial phone. I wanted a book to investigate it, and Trivial Grievances isn’t it. There really is very little about the big stuff that might form the contours of millennials’ unhappy valley, and which have the virtue of being real: destruction of the planet, the declining prospect of security and flourishing, the assault of control and surveillance on the psychological freedom necessary to pursue happiness.
I can understand why a lot of people don’t want to think about that daily, given the lack of ready remedy to such a condition. But a Guardian journalist should do so, and to not go there in a high-profile volume seems like a failure of nerve and, maybe, of duty. The question is whether that is simply the affliction of one writer who has written a readable-enough book, or an expression of the conflicts of Guardian-world, introduced to Australia to stir things up from the left but which seems somewhat drawn to its role as the distracting newsletter of a new elite.
Grievances may be individual, but they may also be evidence of the world coming apart. Rendering them as trivial can be a way of refusing that connection, and the demands on the powerful that arise from it.
Millennial life is not complicated. That is, white middle and upper middle class life. We are oversold by our Boomer parents and marketing on what adult life would be like. I had really high expectations for adult life. I didn’t come up with those. How does a teenager come up with those? We were told things like you’d follow you’re passion into a fulfilling career, your life would be a glamorous city with lots of cocktails (tv shows!), we’d wear great clothes, it was vaguely assumed housing wouldn’t be an issue at some point you’d mysteriously go from a nice apartment to a leafy house. You’d date a bit and have a wow of a time then settle down with someone you love and who becomes you’re best friend. You’d have a circle of best pals.
That’s what our parents and media said. So when life fails to live up to these impossible glossy standards it’s a surprise and disappointment. It’s an adjustment. I don’t think we’re to blame. We were impressionable kids, how were we to know it was all absurd to believe in?
These days after a period of reflection I’ve greatly adjusted my expectations and found happiness. If I had a child I would absolutely raise them to be extremely realistic about what life was really like. No gloss.
It’s even worse when your life does live up to those glossy standards and you realise how empty it all is.
Thank you for this review. There was definitely truth to the original article.
What is the point of it all, working full time to survive and giving your life to your employer until you retire with not enough super to live on and a mortgage still to be paid. The constant need to self-improve through therapy, self-education, university degrees, performance reviews. Constantly being assessed and measured.
Even if you love your job it’s still giving your life away for money, and means not being able to spend life doing the things you want with the people you love.
There’s the loneliness of the times we live in. There seem to me to be far fewer opportunities to connect with other humans.
But this is a direct result of social/economic/political changes over the last few generations and it’s a massive reason why a lot of people probably feel nihilistic.
Hopefully another writer can delve into the socio-political causes for this. Delving into is part of the solution to these problems after all because it helps us understand why things are the way they are and how we can change them.
David Graeber’s BS Jobs was a great article turned into a book. The book managed to draw out solidarity between the reader and all the examples of people in BS jobs, and painted a picture of “managerial feudalism” to explain why things are the way they are. It gave me hope.
True, RR – Graeber’s BS Jobs could end GR’s search.
Oddly, Grundle has often mentioned Graeber previously, with approbation, so it cannot be any lack of awareness of his thesis.
Lack of understanding seems unlikely as well – there was a time when he would have endorsed the Sainted Dave so I can only assume the onset of crabbed age has dowsed the fire of transformation and settled for the dying embers & ashes of Cold Comfort Farm.
I thought of that too, Gary. One of my favourite books. I worked in HR for 30 years, and the sheer drudgery ultimately as you see the same problems, the same process with a new acronym being announced as the next big thing (and you were so behind the times if you didn’t keep up)
What really got to me was how gossamer thin the thinking behind it all was. Usually promoted by someone who had just got their MBA and thought they had that recipe for the secret sauce. It was all so lame, no heart or mind was in it. I was constantly reminded of a saying I picked up from India, ‘like a mouse who found a grain of turmeric and thought it was a green grocer’.
And as you get older, just watching the same pathetic cycles of fads coming through the next generation.
Life is a wonderful gift. Work is in incessant drudgery. I’ve done my time now, and wish it wasn’t so for the young coming through. Bertrand Russell’s ‘In Praise of Idleness’ was also a great find.
Souls go to die in corporations. They are bereft.
Thanks so much for this review, I really appreciate everything you point to. No wonder you were disappointed. But I’m not surprised the book falls short, which pretty much every book does of this variety that I’ve read – by largely white middle-class media workers or writers who profess themselves to be progressive yet in all likelihood inhabit very narrow social worlds. As someone who is slightly older than Bridie’s cohort I do feel fairly protected from millennial malaise – which i totally agree is a phenomenon worth investigating – because I caught the tail end of a pre-internet and more innocent world. But someone like me also got in there just in time with buying cheaper real estate, more affordable degrees, less expectations of society, work and relationships in general – so have of us stumbled through without worrying about what any of this signified in terms of our positioning in the culture. I do feel for anyone in the generation who’s come after me – the psychic weight of daily life seems more of a struggle than ever
I was once in the audience listening to a world-famous family therapist giving case examples of his fancy therapeutic techniques with (mainly) middle-class Baby Boomers bemoaning their anxieties re meaning, identity and relationships. The (very wise) Gen X person beside me muttered an audible but disgusted ‘Get off your bum and do something for someone else’ as a simpler and more profound solution to their existential emptiness.
Sales of anti depressants and anxiety drugs have been going full steam for about 20 years now, at least in the Anglosphere as far as I know.
Something changed around the year 2000.
I reckon it’s a more general malaise than just millennials, although I agree many of them got screwed over pretty good.
Never more than right now though, and the next generation (whatever they are called) is getting the same treatment but on steroids.