With millions of Australians in lockdown once more, Crikey investigates how people are coping with confinement this time round. Satirist Tom Red dives deep into the language and behaviour that got us through 2020, and compares it with today. (Spoiler: it’s not pretty.)
Food
2020: “Who’d like some more homemade sourdough?”
2021: “Who ate the cookie dough straight from the packet?”
Refreshments
2020: “At least I’m not day-drinking.”
2021: “You know you can track Dan Murphy’s trucks in real time, right?”
Decorum
2020: “The rule at our place is wear ‘courtesy pants’ at all times.”
2021: “If you don’t want to see, don’t bloody look.”
Humour
2020: “Meme!”
2021: “Meh.”
Communication
2020: “I’ve started a podcast.”
2021: “For sale: Behringer Podcastudio 2 USB, as new.”
Creativity
2020: “I’ve been writing and recording a bunch of isolation songs.”
2021: “Yeah, nah, ‘ukulelephobia’ is totally a thing.”
Confidence
2020: “We’ve got this.”
2021: “We’ve got this. Again.”
Political leadership
2020: “Australia is at the front of the queue for vaccines.”
2021: “It’s not a race. It’s not a game show. The sooner we get there, the sooner we get there.”
Game changers
2020: “Once they invent a vaccine, this all changes.”
2021: “Once we get some of the vaccine they invented, this all changes.”
Economics
2020: “Gas-led recovery.”
2021: “Gas-lit recovery.”
Opposition leaders
2020: “I can’t see how Michael O’Brien could possibly do a worse job.”
2021: “Seems we all underestimated Michael O’Brien.”
2020 : ‘Gladys’ Gold Standard’ – Best in Show.
2021 : Don’t touch that! You don’t know where she’s bin.
Red wine and dark chocolate are the basic food groups!
That’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s written about Michael O’Brien since…. I last remembered his name.
Who is Michael O’Brien? No, really.
Nice work Red.
Said Jan to the Monkey Man, “It’s best that you don’t know.”
Hot milk & whiskey, breakfast of champions.
G&Ts for lunch makes Wine O’Clock lurch around shoonerish.
Cognac helps dinner preparation.
Vodka means not having to eat badly cooked food.
And gin helps you ……………? …….. What was I gunna think?