Gladys Berejiklian covid-19 coronavirus nsw lockdown outbreak
NSW premier Gladys Berejiklian (Image: AAP/Mick Tsikas)

New South Welshmen (and masochists playing along from other states and territories) have found themselves with a Gladys-shaped hole in their schedules and their hearts after NSW premier Gladys Berejiklian announced last week that her 11am daily press conference would stop, effective today (until she announced her comeback tour earlier this morning, of course).

It’s hard to have something taken away from you during a pandemic, so here’s a handy list of things you can replace the presser with:

  1. See what else is on TV. The networks have had it easy during 11am presser times, but 9Gem has done a good job of offering an alternative, scheduling a show called Pointless between 10.30am and 11.30am — you’ll hardly notice Gladys is gone.
  2. Text Craig Kelly (his number is: 0458 150 21, ICYMI).
  3. Watch the Victorian presser instead. It usually happens a little earlier, but just move around the “curl up in a ball and cry” time in your lockdown schedule and you should be able to make it fit. 
  4. Take a walk (this one is a serious suggestion).
  5. Replace it with another great Australian COVID pastime — going on Twitter to complain. Try these hashtags: #GladysClusterFuck, #GladysResign, #WhereIsGladys — do you really need a press conference to bounce off for this?
  6. Instead of merely speculating on corruption in federal and state politics, read up on it. Oh look, we have a series about it riiiiight here.
  7. Watch “season two” of the 11am press conference (side note: could this be the reason Gladys announced her surprise return this morning?).

8. Get a dog.

9. Get a second dog (once you have one…)

10. Book a vaccine appointment!

11. And finally, tune in to the newest Australian comedy: Tony Abbott getting arrested.