Coalition Senator Eric Abetz (Image: AAP)

Corrections You can imagine the Ernie Awards — Australia’s annual award for great achievements in sexist commentary — had a lot to work with this year. The highest honour, the Gold Ernie, went to Tasmanian Senator and gleeful crypt keeper Eric Abetz, for his alleged response when asked if Christian Porter was the minister being accused of rape: “Yes … but not to worry, the woman is dead and the law will protect him … as for that Higgins girl, anybody so disgustingly drunk who would sleep with anybody … she could have slept with one of our spies and put the security of the nation at risk.”

Abetz denies saying this, and got in touch with the organisers of the Ernies, as an email they sent round explains:

The winner of the Gold Ernie, Senator Eric Abetz has put to us (through his office) that we amend the citation to add the word “alleged” to the remarks which were read out in the Tasmanian Parliament by then Coalition Speaker Sue Hickey. We agreed to this.

And with that, they repeat that Abetz is the winner and the entire quote, just this time affixed with the word “allegedly”.

Goward your own way It’s important for the media class to remember that most of the episodes that dominate its conversations bud, bloom and die without anyone noticing — outside of a few thousand people whose overexposure to Twitter has the same effect as drinking a litre of bathtub absinthe. We suspect Pru Goward’s modest proposal for The Australian Financial Review is one of those matters. (If you missed it, firstly, congratulations on making better life choices than me.)

The former NSW MP’s piece is concerned with “harnessing” the poor, and the tone is so heavily spiced with loathing for the “underclass” one might wonder if a sub had accidentally cut the phrase “as a cheap source of fertilizer” as an example of what the poor might be harnessed for. It’s hard to pick one line to sum it up, but we’d go for when Goward cites nebulous “social workers” who “despair” at the working class’ “appalling housework, neglect of their children and, notably, their sharp and unrepentant manner when told to lift their game”.

Cue the cycle: initially fury — people pointing out Goward is a former minister for social housing, on the board of Anglicare, a professor at UNSW — followed by, of course, an unrepentant response from the author. It was “disappointing” that readers “misunderstood” the piece — you know the deal by now. But what did stand out from the cookie-cutter non-apology was Goward’s contention that she’d applied a “Marxist” analysis in the piece. I suppose we have to concede that it qualifies, to the extent it appeared to be aimed at bringing us a step closer to a class revolt…

WA happened? We have quite a few questions about the fantastically awkward series of photos featuring Western Australian overlord Premier Mark McGowan and former minister for scarcely earned good will Julie Bishop that cropped up on the latter’s Instagram last night:

Mostly, why the hell they bothered having an Independence Day party for the US in October? Does any other country get a catch-up party for its national day?

Professional hits In today’s “why the hell not, it’s 2021” news, John Hinckley Jr now has a Spotify page. His tunes take on an eerie “outsider music” quality, mainly because they don’t appear to discuss his more famous 1980s work (trying to murder Ronald Reagan). It calls to mind the Mitchell and Webb sketch where the fussy press secretary makes it clear that Neil Armstrong is only willing to discuss the new album, and not what he got up to in the ’60s.

Franstans unite Finally, to prove we can be sincere once in a while, a brief note of congratulations to departing ABC Breakfast host Fran Kelly. Seventeen years of getting up at 3am to prepare for battle with several generations of recalcitrant politicians is one hell of a shift, and we thank you for your service. Enjoy the more the standard circadian rhythms of whatever you do next.