Australia’s 46th Parliament was the first for 15 years to have the same prime minister face voters at the end as was sworn in at the beginning. But that wasn’t the only thing that made 46 unusual — even allowing for the pandemic, the past three years in politics were weird as shit.
Here are some of our favourite moments:
Pauline Hanson appeared to not know when her own birthday is. In June 2021, during a debate around amendments to superannuation that benefited 67-year-olds, she announced: “Just because you’re 67 and you’re of a retirement age — which I am proud to say, I am 67 years of age, and I turned 67 yesterday.”
Confronted with the notion that this appeared to be a very clear piece of self-serving, Hanson got up minutes later to say: “Misrepresentation: Senator Watt said I’ve circulated this on my birthday. My birthday was last month. This [amendment] was not circulated on my birthday, so it’s basically misrepresentation, telling a lie.”
The ALP’s consistent meme failure. It won’t surprise anyone that Labor doesn’t appear too often in this list. One of the main problems with a small-target strategy is less amusing content, less chance of a backbencher busting out some Skyhooks during a press conference. But it does deserve a mention for some fantastically shit social media work. Some of it was just baffling — the Aunty Donna reference that worked neither as a joke nor as a universal reference that voters would mostly get springs to mind. Some of it was amusingly inept — say, when Jim Chalmers posted stats the wrong way around. But mostly it was just terrible. Anthony Albanese, you’re not building my confidence in Australian manufacturing if this is the best image your office can put together:
Barnaby Joyce wants the government out of his damn life. On Christmas Eve 2019, former deputy prime minister Barnaby Joyce — whose freeform approach to language has been an ongoing source of fascination here in the bunker — made an interesting claim. In a video from his paddock, he told us he wanted the government — of which he is an extremely well-paid member — out of his life: “I just don’t want the government any more in my life; I am sick of the government being in my life.” He also, as is his wont, had some thoughts about God: “There’s a higher authority that’s beyond our comprehension — right up there in the sky. And unless we understand that that’s got to be respected, then we’re just fools. We’re going to get nailed.”
Backbencher shenanigans. One of our favourite things in the world is the backbencher you’ve never heard of popping up, doing something extremely weird and then disappearing back into history. The 46th Parliament gave us so many of these beautiful moments: South Australia’s Rowan Ramsey reading the wrong Dorothy Dixer; Western Australia’s Ben Small and his utterly deadpan reading of a tweet about falling into a big vat of manure in its entirety at Senate estimates — to make a point about ABC bias, we think; Liberal Senator David Van saying a mixture of a “gruff” voice and his mask were to blame after he was accused of making dog-like growling noises at Jacqui Lambie as she spoke in the Senate. This was the same day as a scathing report on the treatment of women in Parliament was released.
Michaelia Cash’s curry for the country. The Western Australian senator was WAY too into the idea of having a “curry for the country” — “I’m going to tell the prime minister that one!” she shrieked, producing the kind of laughter that hell boils with. “A curry for the country. I love it! I love Indian food! It’s my favourite food! I promise you I will do that!
Scott Morrison. There is so much criticism levelled at our outgoing prime minister, but it’s important to remember that, first and foremost, he’s just a bit of a weird unit. The forced handshakes; the array of unflattering sports photo ops, peaking late in the campaign when he pancaked a young soccer player in Tasmania; saying “Ni Hao” to a Korean lady. The guy just put people on edge. But possibly our top choice is the time he stood up in Parliament while women from around the nation protested the horrifying treatment in Parliament — and by extension Australian workplaces — and said that in other countries they could expect to be shot: “Not far from here, such marches even now are being met with bullets, but not here in this country. This is a triumph of democracy.”
I didn’t need to use bullets to get rid of Morrison, I and many others used a pencil at the ballot box. Problem solved.
Would have preferred bullets
Ballots are always preferable to bullets.
I want to preface this comment with, I am a swinging left voter, you could never pay me enough money to vote for the LNP. I’d like to call out a word used in this above article. Michaelia Cash did not shriek. She definitely laughed loudly but you would never have reported this same instance as shrieking if it was a male who laughed. It’s a small thing, I know and some will say I’m a woke nutjob, but I’ve been fighting misogyny since I was in highschool and fought very hard in the ADF to be treated as an equal. If it’s not pointed out, this probably unintended behaviour will continue and women will still be fighting to be viewed equally for generations to come.
Miss JaneWA,
Cackles Cash, has been called many things Due to her Raucous laugh and loudness of voice not to mention the somewhat odd antics and ludicrous statements.
The description of her “screeching” is totally apt.
Would a male pollie ever get called out for “screeching”? I can’t recall such an event but I have heard them called “shrill”and other apt but uncomplimentary names.
I wish you well in your struggle against misogyny but in this instance feel you are jumping at shadows. Men can and do shriek and in the political arena it would surely be picked on. Think of “Poodles Pine” as one example.
I don’t think you are a Woke (still trying to get what that exactly means) Nutjob. Keep up the good fight, but don’t blunt the sword on windmills,so to speak.
There are actually biological differences between men and women. One of these is the different qualities of their voices. A woman’s voice is usually higher-pitched, and can sometimes be described as a “shriek” at high volume. A man, on the other hand, is probably more capable of the “growling” as also mentioned here.
Has ironic mansplaining become a thing? The movement of retro culture is so fast that I feel old and confused, but I know the different sounds humans make. The meaning of it all, whether shrieking, growls or chitters, is beyond me though
That was not a shriek; If anyone needs help with this, think about the following – Shrieking is what Black metal vocalists of all genders do. Growling, however, is associated with death metal. Of course, the existence of black/death can confuse the novice. Fake it till you make it
I cannot recall ever hearing Cackles speak in a normal voice, mainly because whenever she was wheeled out to speak it was to defend the indefensible or to attack another person personally.
This necessarily alters the register of an already unpleasant & poorly modulated voice which anyone who has ever had to deal with a disobedient child or defiantly recalcitrant adult would recognise.
Guilt, lies and denial of the blindlingly obvious always raises the pitch of voice and is a positive indicator to anyone in an LEA questioning a suspect.
(In the military there is a disciplinary charge for what is called “dumb insolence” – of which Cackles is an exemplar.)
“Sit down, Boofhead”.
Scomo won that one.
Nobody would be surprised if they saw Senator Cash with a powdery white ring around one or both nostrils.