When you change the government, you change the country. So said Paul Keating, and while time and overuse have made it a cliché, it’s still broadly true. And it’s not just legislation and leadership teams that change. There are shifts, subtle and seismic, to social and cultural norms. Not unfamiliar with the arcane codifications of Albo’s inner-west heartland, Crikey satirist Tom Red spills the beans on what’s hot and what’s not in the new paradigm.
Your music
In: “Let There Be Rock” — Henry Rollins and the Hard-Ons
Out: “Let There Be Light“ — Hillsong Worship
Your sports
In: Tackling childhood obesity through sport
Out: Tackling actual children
Your schooling
In: Hard Knocks Public High, or St Struggle’s Culturally Catholic School for Gifted Proles and Promising Halfbacks
Out: Anything with the name “Andrew” in the title
Your food
In: Steak and chips, hold the chips
Out: Sri Lankan chicken curry, raw or cooked
Your beer
In: Albo Pale Ale
Out: Doing a shoey with Brother Stuey
Your self-improvement books
In: Capital and Ideology by Thomas Piketty
Out: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
Your beach reads
In: Roadies: The Secret History of Australian Rock’n’roll by Stuart Coupe
Out: The New Social Contract: Renewing the Liberal Vision for Australia by Tim Wilson
Your name-dropping
In: Grace, Rusty, Briggsy, Barnsy and Van Badham.
Out: Gina, Rupert, Gerry, Pastor Brian, Jen and the girls
Your clothes
In: The “Small Target” collection from Target, Celibate Rifles t-shirts and original Newtown Jets jerseys
Out: Hi-vis
Latest movies
In: Everything Everywhere All at Once
When an interdimensional rupture unravels electoral reality, an unlikely hero must channel newfound powers to fight bizarre and bewildering dangers from the multiverse as the fate of the world hangs in the balance.
Out: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
The story of a fading actor who is creatively unfulfilled and facing financial ruin. To save himself and his loved ones he must confront his own legend and recreate his most iconic stunts, but this time without a net.
Classic movies
In: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
Out: The Croods
Dining
In: The Lucky Prawn Chinese-Australian bistro, at the Bob Hawke Beer & Leisure Centre in Marrickville.
Out: Engadine McDonald’s
Your holidays
In: Bundaberg
Out: Honolulu
Your TV shows
In: Question time (ABC TV)
Out: Sky after dark (Sky News Australia)
All those Andrews – Hastie, Clennell, Probyn, Bolt, Kevin. But Dan can stay. And Wilkie.
It was not that long ago that the COALition government contained more ‘Johns’ than women.
In both senses.
Bragg can go too.
Excellent!
Some further suggestions:
In: “Boofhead”
Out: “Mr Speaker”
In: avocados
Out: potatoes, beetroots
On potatoes: the other day, I noticed that somebody had labelled Dutton, Darth Tater. Which I quite liked.
It is truly disturbing that the Tim Wilson book is real – I checked the link thinking it further satire.
Wasn’t that the first trial of self pulping paper?
Or was that the run that was printed on toilet paper to ensure it moved off the shelves pretty quickly?
😉
Omg! Really?!
Tom nails it… but I respectfully suggest Dining needs to include The Sausage Factory in Dulwich Hill, run by Sydney’s Sausage Queen
Disagree on the Rollins musical choice, but it should be in a similar universe, native and Albanese’s favourite Oz band, Radio Birdman (with The Saints the acknowledged icons of Oz indie music from mid ’70s, and still influential globally).
Actually listening to New Race – First and the Last while reading this and wondering what Albanese’s pick of the current crop would be? C.O.F.F.I.N. , Stiff Richards or maybe even Amyl & the Sniffers (that would arc up the Murdoch press). Civic would be a safe bet.