In a heartfelt piece last week, Crikey’s Amber Schultz protested against the verdict in the Depp-Heard defamation trial “being used as a test case for the Me Too movement”.
I hear her frustration. As a former women’s rights activist, to me it always seemed that the “time’s up” buzzer on social change rang far earlier than it should have to realise the movement’s aims, little less embed them into the social and cultural life of the nation.
That said, if Amber Heard hadn’t come along to slow the momentum on the most recent feminist uprising against sexual harassment and assault, some other woman would have been found to fill the histrionic liar role.
Because for all the success of the Me Too movement — indeed because of its success — men were always going to start complaining that it had “gone too far” and find a way to slow the pace of change.
Progress is neither one-directional nor linear. Even if you believe that the overall arc of democratic societies is towards justice, the micro-movements for social change that contribute to that arc are best described by the old adage of two steps forward, one step back.
Why is social change so stagger-stepped and tortoise-paced? Because any successful quest for power will meet resistance. Power, as my first-year sociology teacher taught me, is never given freely. It must always be taken. When third-wave Australian feminists demanded changes to ensure women feel as safe and included as men — and had those demands taken seriously and acted upon as we saw with the Jenkins’ report — that was a real win for the women’s movement.
Of course the men, whose invisible privilege to say and do much of what they like when it comes to women, were going to feel discomfited. Not necessarily because they didn’t want to change — some do, and many did. But as women continued to air their grievances and men began losing their jobs or reputations based on allegations on social media but not always tested in court, male anxiety grew about how they were going to avoid falling foul of the new standards for acceptable social behaviour — because as the Me Too movement continued to race ahead, no one was sure what the new standard would be.
No wonder some men were keen to call time. Just as they did decades ago, at the tail end of the debate about sexual harassment inspired by Virginia Trioli’s Generation F and Helen Garner’s The First Stone. Writing op-eds in the mainstream press replete with phrases like “It’s all gone too far” and “Enough is enough”. Because rightly or wrongly, men back then — just like now — felt they’d heard enough about how they had to change for all new demands to stop, so they could implement what they’d learned in their workplaces and lives.
Indeed, Australian men may feel the need for a halt in proceedings, so they can get their ducks in a row, even more strongly than their American counterparts. Why? Because of the very Australian imperative to avoid friction — little less conflict — in all social situations. To achieve this, everyone has to have a firm grip on what the expectations are in every social situation, and how to implement them — something that’s pretty hard to do when some of those expectations are in flux.
Make sense? I think so. Though spare a thought for those women whose life chances depend on the end of sexist harassment and violence at work. Not eventually, when men have caught their breath and one more wave of agitation sweeps through to finish the work Me Too began, but now.
But justified impatience doesn’t make change move any faster. Nor does justified outrage. Which is why the Me Too movement must continue to aspire for full equality between women and men.
But remember that the freedom train we all have to ride on can’t go any faster.
Does Depp v Heard signify the death of MeToo? No. It needs to continue and it will. Lets ignore those hyperbolic claims by the right. But on the flipside, we cant let feminists use these opinions to discount mainstream concerns about MeToo. Tell me that last time Crikey wrote an article that discussed MeToo in anything but a cheer-leading capacity. We are seeking major changes to society, doesnt that warrant genuine discussion and analysis rather than cheer-leading and ripping apart rightwing strawmen?
“men were always going to start complaining that it had gone too far” This article would be a lot better if the words ‘some men’ or ‘many men’ were used a bit more often. Its clear there are plenty of men who dont think its gone far enough and plenty of women who think it has gone too far. The movement should stop vilifying and alienating mainstream men (and women) and seek consensus to move forward (more) linearly.
And are we willing to look at the failings of women in the workplace as highlighted in the Jenkins’ report? She documented the rates of female bullies as 61% to males 35%. If you want mainstream men and women to support the cause then you need to stop sweeping those issues under the carpet and stop trying to turn this into a gender battle. Show us mend this isnt biased against us and we have nothing to fear.
“Why is social change so stagger-stepped and tortoise-paced?” Because change needs to happen slowly, otherwise we get into the cultural tug of wars we are seeing in the USA. Make a law, rescind a law, put in back in place, taking it back out again.
Your comment would be “a lot better” if you didn’t use the word “feminists” in a generalising and derogatory way.
What is the collective noun for someone who believes that the wishes of females over ride those of males?
misandrist?
Do any feminists rail against the ‘proven’ (multiple) bullying of her staff by the U.K. Home Secretary – Priti Patel ?
Does any female journalist rail against Boris Johnson for failing to stand up against her bullying and sack her ?
How many men have suicided as a result of bullying and do ANY timid male journalists care about it ?
What i find interesting is the way feminism keeps highlighting the need to ‘end violence against women and children’. Men make up the vast majority of violent perpetrators but they also make up the majority of victims of violent crime. Violence against everyone should stop. As a guy everytime I hear this slogan I automatically think they couldn’t give a rats about male victims and I don’t know if they realise they arent winning over males with these campaigns.
What I find somewhat disturbing and depressing is the automatic assumptions and unquestioning monolithic acceptance by all journalists.
Suggesting right or wrong be determined by the courts is now a form of collaboration in an understating coverup or passive acceptance.
I think that’s exactly what Dr Cannold is doing here, and I think her last paragraphs are making a very similar point to your last (excellent) paragraph.
I sympathise to an extent with ‘not all men’, but I also recognise (as a 50-something man) that as much as I consider myself a feminist I still have ingrained ways of thinking that are biased by assumptions about gender. Blame that on upbringing or whatever, and I work to override them with more considered rational thought, but it’s still there for me and I suspect for the majority of men (yes, and women).
Your point about women also being the source of workplace abuse needs to be made more often, but making it in the context you have makes it sound too much like whataboutism and a deflection.
Deflection? I dont think so. Leslie said “spare a thought for those women whose life chances depend on the end of sexist harassment and violence at work”
This is a well worn tactic of feminists. They restrict the conversation to sexual and physical abuse that we all know that men are the overwhelming perpetrators of and then they conveniently sweep any other form of abuse under the carpet.
“The review of 23 studies found that self-defense, expressing anger, control, desire for the partner’s attention, and retaliation motivated women’s [intimate partner violence] perpetration. Indeed, being victimized by an intimate partner is consistently one of the strongest predictors of IPV perpetration for both men and women (O’Leary and Slep, 2012).”
“….the behavioral data are clear in that women tend to engage in predominantly indirect aggression, IPV with equal frequency but lesser severity than men, and rarely sexual aggression. Thus, our review is in accord with Richardson (2005), who noted that women are quite capable of aggression.”
Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnbeh.2018.00081/full
Worth reading
I see in this discussion too much reflexive and defensive what-aboutism from male commenters.
What is the relevance of a comment urging us to look at “the failings of women in the workplace”, while also decrying the absence of “some men” or “many men” in the original article? What a curious and revealing phrase to use.
Curious Strawman, you want to avoid a gender battle! Is that what women are demanding? I don’t see that.
If you are fearful of women wanting a fair go, perhaps you are too familiar with having an unquestioned advantage on account of your gender.
Hi Polly
How long have you been a subscriber of Crickey? This is my third year and if you go back and read my comments and those of others in these THREE articles you will see we are supporters of women, are against DV, and conditionally pro #MeToo, but we aren’t blind supporters shouting inane slogans. Some of the commenters voicing concerns also here are female. Don’t be so quick to dismiss us as misogynists just because we dont agree with you.
We want unbiased analysis in our journalism on this topic. We believe in due process (ie trial in the courts not in the media), we believe that accusations need evidence (ie not ‘#BelieveAllWomen’), we believe in equality not feminism, we don’t believe women are inherently any ‘nicer’ than men they just express their aggression in ways that reflect differences in verbal, social and physical strengths.
“If you are fearful of women wanting a fair go, perhaps you are too familiar with having an unquestioned advantage on account of your gender.” hahaha. Its lame arguments like this that lead me to pick my alias.
“What is the relevance of a comment urging us to look at “the failings of women in the workplace”, while also decrying the absence of “some men” or “many men” in the original article? What a curious and revealing phrase to use” – I answered that already.
Do women want a gender battle? – No that is not what I think women what. I know its not what they want… but it is what feminist activist/journalists desperately want. Go back and read the articles here in Crikey. Look at the imagery chosen. Megaphones. Fists in the air. Placards about cutting off penises. Photos demonising men. Then come back and tell me where you found things like: open and civil debate, exchanging ideas, making and conceding points, improving (not avoiding) the justice system, recognising that there are bad women and good men, recognising that some females do falsely accused men of sexual abuse, that is was Amber Heard who damaged MeToo not ‘evil men’ etc etc. Crikey really struggles to write anything balanced when it comes to gender, an as a result commenters like those here push back on the endless bias. If you think that our push back can be dismissed with incantation of ‘whataboutism’ you aren’t fooling anyone. Do you have another incantation to try and force your opinion on me? Maybe ‘gas lighting’? ‘one woman every 3 days’?
You are looking in the wrong direction. Men’s reaction to #metoo in trying to slow it, is not where the damage to society is being done, its that #metoo turbo-charged MGTOW.
A more useful and ongoing local example of how self-defeatingly narcissistic and regressive #MeToo is in grave danger of becoming is the ever-escalating case of Tegan George v. Peter van Onselen.
As usual, ambulance-chasing lawyers are deeply involved in it all. Can anyone explain what the least-harmful response from us hapless blokes is supposed to be this increasingly unfathomable circumstance, please? As with the Heard case, it’s not the alleged perpetrator who is inflaming the trial-by-media awfulness.
We must continue on the basis that no female would gild the lily – and that all men are guilty as charged by social media and thus by all genuine journalists.also.
And just think how much money the jornos are going to make covering it all. It’s starting to feel like divorce lawyers riling up their customers into conflict rather than mediation so they themselves can pay their own mortgages.
Another thing that bothers me are the number of articles (eg ABC, Crikey, Guardian etc) that cant bring themselves to say that justice has been served in the Depp v Heard case. They cant fault Heard in ANY way, so how do they report on the trial outcome? They criticize the blogspheres behaviour (which is valid) and they point out that this will have a chilling effect on victims speaking up (which unfortunately it will, but what’s the alternative verdict they are suggesting?).
Where is their criticism of Heard and the damage she has done to the movement? Where is the analysis that MeToo didnt apply in this case bc not one else supported Heard? Or that MeToo failed to speak up and distance themselves? Are these journos making the point that Depp should have been found guilty so as to encourage victims to speak up? The way they are selectively reporting is so transparent, and while Guardian and Crikey are privately owned, ABC needs to be held to a higher level of journalistic ethics.