While a pompous clown as politician and attorney-general, George Brandis “QC” was no fool when it came to extracting dollars from taxpayers. There was the time he charged taxpayers to attend the wedding of failed right-wing shock-jock Michael Smith. Then there were the infamous bookshelves — the $15,000 waste of money for bookshelves for Brandis’ $13,000 taxpayer-funded library.
And after 18 years on the public teat as senator for Queensland, the provincial lawyer scored another lucrative taxpayer-funded gig in 2018: high commissioner in London. Having adorned that role with his usual mediocrity for four long, doubtlessly arduous years, Brandis has returned to Australia. And after more than two decades of taxpayer largesse, one might have thought he was ready to make his own way in the world again.
Alas, no: he fetched up at Australian National University. At ANU’s prestigious College of Law, of course? Well, not quite. According to the gushing media release from ANU, Brandis will be “a professor in the Practice of National Security and will be primarily based at the National Security College in the ANU College of Asia and the Pacific. He will also lend his incredible expertise to the ANU College of Law.”
To be fair, claims of Brandis’ expertise are indeed pretty incredible. But it depends on what kind of expertise. Expertise in singlehandedly wrecking a legislative proposal? Check — see George’s notorious “people have a right to be bigots” line about reform of the Racial Discrimination Act. Expertise in communicating policy? Check — see the famous Speers interview on data retention, less a trainwreck than watching an ant get fried under a magnifying glass. Expertise in the arts? Sure — see the $100 million in cuts so he could establish his own personal fund. Well, how about legal aid? He also slashed funding for that.
How about stacking the Administrative Appeals Tribunal — perhaps there’s an ANU College professorship in that?
In politics, Brandis was the Man With the Sadim Touch: everything he touched turned to shit, usually shit accompanied by some arbitrary Latin phrase or inaccurate historical reference, designed to lend a pretence of gravitas to the otiose wafflings of the deliverer. Over the course of his storied time in the ministry, he had arts, counter-terrorism and, finally, much of the A-G’s portfolio taken away from him. Expertise in downsizing, perhaps?
ANU staff immediately jacked up about the prospect of Brandis swanning into a professorship at a time of academic austerity, with no consultation about the appointment. That the current ANU chancellor is Julie Bishop surely has nothing to do with the appointment. Nothing at all.
As if to demonstrate that Brandis has undergone no miraculous transmogrification into someone capable of complex thought while in London, he has overnight graced us with his hot take on the departure of Boris Johnson, whom he deems the most important British leader since Thatcher. Not for George Tony Blair, who cemented the legacy of Thatcher and helped author the colossal historical tragedy of Iraq, or Gordon Brown, who expertly helped save the British economy from collapse during the financial crisis, or even David Cameron, who restored the Tories to electability after a generation in the wilderness. “He is a winner,” Brandis trills about Johnson, an observation that current circumstances perhaps lend a slight air of rubberiness to.
What’s really going on is that Johnson is secretly the politician Brandis wishes he has been. George, too, likes to drop the occasional Latin pearler and wants everyone to know how clever he is, but he could never quite pull off Johnson’s carefully cultivated image of the fop with the common touch, a bloke as well as a chap, equally at home in the common room, the pub or the parliament.
Johnson, at least, has made his own way in the world and never particularly needed taxpayer money. For Professor Brandis, that’s not something to emulate.
It is ghastly to see Brandis still hoovering up public money into his own pockets. I’m not so sure Johnson merits the favourable comparison, given his years of shameless touting for handouts to fund his personal expenses from billionaires, foreign oligarchs and other shady characters with links to organised crime and hostile governments; who also now fund the Tory Party and call the shots. Johnson’s contribution to furthering corruption in British public life and bringing down the institutions of civil society will take many years to clean up, if anyone even tries.
To give Brandis his due, he had me laughing out loud this morning (and also ready to spew) with his interview on ABC RN Breakfast when he talked about what he sees as the Tory Party’s “very strong” choice of candidates to replace Johnson! Of course, Johnson has lasted so long mainly because no matter how bad he is the rest of the senior Tories lack any useful talent or leadership quality, and they are nearly all thoroughly tainted by their last few years of spineless servility to the cult of Johnson. Brandis also remarked it is not yet clear if Brexit is good or bad, which by this time with the devastation of the UK’s economy beyond any doubt and only getting worse, and all the other promised benefits failing to materialise, is about as reasonable as wondering if climate change is real because there are views on both sides. The rest of the interview was equally delusional. Brandis, at best, could be a second-rate comedian if you can stomach his smug pomposity, but that’s his limit. ANU needs its head examined.
Johnson’s departure and its reasons are so similar to Morrisons
Sounds like his corrupt behaviour was modelled on BoJos. Who knew he (BoJo) was corrupt as well as being an incompetent windbag? What’s wrong with the world now, that we have to elect fools, knaves and absolute criminals to positions of power?
What’s wrong with the world? Rhymes with Turdoch.
Remember that Hillary won by around 3 million and Boris by way of FPTP.
Neither country is a democracy but they DO have the gall to lecture others on the benefits of it.
It was no surprise, but still deeply depressing, to find Johnson claiming, as a reason he should stay on as PM, that he was elected by millions of British voters. Just another of his lies, but not merely false, it is actually impossible under the Westminster parliamentary system
There is just one common denominator in this depressing authoritarian era of Trump and Brexit Boris. Rupert Murdoch.
time for the world to be rid of Murdoch, his evil empire and vile minions!
Sky Noise After Dark is a very real threat in the potential for an Australian example of political violence.
Paul Murray et al.
And to bomb them if they disagree.
Nah. Not even a second rate comedian. Just a craven knave with delusions of his importance, with neither wit nor wisdom. The less we hear from him the better for the public conversation.
What the hell is going on at anu? It’s like the abc of universities at the moment, trashing a once stellar reputation through incomprehensible, self harming acts.
It’s everywhere. Not just ANU or ABC. It’s hyper reality. It can’t be real, but it is. It’s the self as a religion, like some mass delusion, like if we all believe in a different reality of ourselves, that becomes the reality.
I’m starting to think that many conservatives live off the public purse as a means to stop the job going to someone who might believe in the public sector. Either that or all that talk about them being adequately compensated to compete with the private sector is nothing more than a cash grab by mediocre hacks.
They redefine public service as self service.
“You just can’t trust other politicians. They’ll use their office for their own gain.” – Every politician who uses the office for their own gain.
Wonder if he’s identified a vacancy for former MP for Goldstein, Tim Wilson, yet?
He and Tim got on absolutely famously I believe.
I imagine that ‘Freedom Boy’ would be in the mix were Mr Brandis to decide to head -hunt someone for a position
*Hastily strikes ANU off list of worthy Australian centres of academic integrity and higher learning. Time to look elsewhere.
Yes I agree. I am about to change my will. I used to work at ANU and had left money to ANU to further medical research into issues of women’s health. But if the ANU has the funds to make JBish Chancellor and Brandis a professor they clearly have money to burn and I will find a more deserving organisation to leave the money to.