Unlike social media rivals Facebook and Instagram, Twitter has never had an edit function. If your tweet is misspelled, misanthropic or flat-out munted, you have to delete it immediately and redraft — or deal with the fallout.
For some fans, including Crikey satirist Tom Red, Twitter’s lack of a safety net is a thrill like playing Russian roulette or voting One Nation — dangerous, unpredictable and ultimately pointless.
Hasty, unedited tweets can also deliver nuggets of unintended hilarity such as these:
- “I snap at people on Twitter because I’m insecure. It’s a self-defence magnesium.”
- “I live bicuriously through your tweets.”
- “The seizure salad from McDonald’s is so good.”
- “I hate when people try to sugar code things, like either you are going to tell me or we are going to leave it alone.”
- “New system will cost more than two grand. And that’s without all the belgian whistles.”
- “I’m finally acknowledging the fact that I’m lack toast and tolerant.”
- “Let’s be adult about this and talk it out. Or barry the hatchet.”
But all of this may be about to change with news that Twitter is trialling an edit function, initially for Twitter Blue subscribers, potentially denying us the pleasure of seeing folk torch their reputations in real time.
To highlight the possible impact of the change, we revisited a bunch of notorious tweets by high-profile Twitterati and imagined how they might have looked after a second pass.
Jack Dorsey (Twitter co-founder)
March 21, 2006: “just setting up my twttr”
- “The horror, the horror. We had no idea Twitter would become… this. Please forgive us.”
Donald Trump (former US president, serial litigant, gameshow host)
May 31, 2017: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe”
- “Despite the constant negative press, my hands are actually totally normally dimensioned, in relation to their biglyness. Everyone says so.”
Mark Ellis (unsuccessful One Nation candidate)
April 25, 2017: “I DID NOT KIDNAP 3 LITTLE BOYS IN 1994!! They weren’t that little, they came willingly, and it was a different time.
- “Politics is not for everyone. I am taking a little breather from social media for a while.”
Clementine Ford (writer, agent provocateur)
May 23, 2020: “Honestly, the corona virus isn’t killing men fast enough.”
- “New book. Out Friday. That’s the tweet.”
Prof. Peter Doherty (immunologist, Nobel laureate, imbibist)
April 27, 2020: “Dan Murphy opening hours.”
- “How good are delivery apps!”
Chris Uhlmann (lapsed seminarian, ex-journalist, mob-baiter)
March 5, 2021: “Top of the morning, sewer rats. Why not waste a lazy day in hysterics over this?”
- “This Tweet is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more.”
triple j (youth-orientated ABC station)
August 31, 2021: “Did it hurt? When you aged out of the youth radio station”
- “We value and respect the views of all of our listeners. Furthermore, we passionately believe Icehouse, Missy Higgins and Powderfinger have meaningful contributions to make to our vibrant local music scene. So we all good now, boomers?”
What iconic Twitter gaffes have we missed? Let us know your thoughts by writing to letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.
There is an old, deservedly forgotten song – “Video (didn’t) kill the Radio Star”.
Like talkie movies, radio, TV, Betamax and CD couldn’t surpass reading I shall remain in my cave, safe& warm, until this unsocial meeja crapocalypse passes – having wiped out the illusion of civilisation.
..oops, 273 characters – is that too many?