It’s possible to imagine future generations sifting through the wreckage of our time like the archaeologists at Pompeii and Ercolano, searching for insights into the last generation with memories of a time before the cataclysm — and the first generation to have some idea of the cataclysm to come.
“What did the scientists tasked with extreme weather warnings say, when the floods first came?” they will ask as they power up the ancient computer, found in the underwater cavern that used to be the Bureau of Meteorology’s office and meticulously repaired. There will be a long, baffled pause.
“They put out a press release insisting they be called ‘the Bureau’.”
Yesterday, as part of Victoria, NSW and Tasmania dealt with severe flooding, as La Niña enters its third consecutive year, the Bureau of Meteorology issued a press release requesting media organisations refer to it by its full name in the first instance, and “the Bureau” thereafter. This is “more crucial than ever”, the release said, given “an ever-increasing number of severe weather events” — as though whoever wrote the opening sentence wasn’t allowed to read the rest of the release.
Yes, just as we shifted metres of pumice and ash to find that those grand Roman towns of classical antiquity were completely obsessed with drawing dicks on things and bawdy slander, future scientists will find that the defining characteristic of our age is needless and costly rebrands.
In fact, we in the bunker are increasingly convinced this whole thing is an elaborate prank. Just check out the AusTender notice for the rebranding contract:
The company is called “C Word Communications”?! Was C BoM Communications taken? And you paid it $69,300?! Come on! Why not round the figure up to $69,420 and be done with it?
Because surely, surely, you wouldn’t spend just under $70,000 on an unnecessary rebrand — under the guise of clearer messaging — without even securing most of the necessary Twitter handles, unless you were doing a really committed comedy bit.
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Years ago NAB similarly insisted that it should be known as the National, or National Australia Bank in full. They evidently gave up on that hare-brained idea and now accept that everyone is going to call them NAB in any event.
This article hits the nail on the head – what a waste of time and money when “The Bureau” is never going to stick – it sounds like they are trying to make out that they are an intelligence agency. I had to check that is was not 1 April.
I get it. NAB feels quite on the nose considering the revelations at the banking royal commission.
Hereafter in our family it became the Nab, smash and grab bank.
My favourite is their abstruse positioning statement ” More than money”.
More than money? The shirt of your back too?
TB verses BoM, what would they prefer, a disease or a weather event as an acronym. Seems the disease has it. More appropriate considering the negative management comments coming out.
Seems like a lurch toward damage control by sensitive CEO’s and the like invested in insurance firms, or invested in IT apps attached to satellite radar owners. Who to blame?
In senior management circles this is known as a ‘big idea’ in the realm of thought leadership going forward at this point in time, seeking the exceeding of expectations in the pursuit of the organisation’s mission and KPIs and commitment to everything.
Oh god YES! Why did I not see it?
Probably also a line in someone’s performance plan. Bonus achieved!
Maybe ‘the Bureau’ is a transitionary name to allow a complete rebranding to occur. It will change again soon to ‘The Bureau of Climate Catastrophe’ as Australia’s weather progressively worsens.
I suspect it was a job for a maaate. Or a new maaate being recruited (this in 2021).
that’s it – follow the money and you’ll probably find a LNP mate who was in need of a few shekels
Talk about self importance !! And what about the FBI. The Bureau of Statistics. How much time did this Organization actually spend not thinking it through.
It was undoubtedly the product of a brain fart by one of Scummo’s clown troupe. It seems it originated in that era