Former British Health Secretary Matt Hancock (Image: AP/Matt Dunham)

We did it, folks. After years and years wondering just what it took to be conclusively repudiated by the British Conservative Party, we’ve found out where its line is — appearing on shithouse reality TV.

Former UK health minister Matt Hancock, who led the country’s COVID-19 response, has been suspended from the Conservative Party for joining the bug-eating reality TV show I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!

“Following a conversation with Matt Hancock, I have considered the situation and believe this is a matter serious enough to warrant suspension of the whip with immediate effect,” Chief Whip Simon Hart announced on Tuesday. If Hancock’s name rings a bell, there might be a few reasons.

It could be the time former No 10 insider Dominic Cummings said “tens of thousands of people died, who didn’t need to die” during Hancock’s time as health secretary, adding that Hancock did between “15-20” things he should have been fired for in that role. Or perhaps it was for what actually did see him leave his position: possibly the defining image of “partygate”, Hancock and his aide Gina Colangelo breaking the social distancing protocols then in force about as enthusiastically as one can, caught on camera making out in Whitehall, in May 2021.

But he’s not the first Tory to go to the jungle — BoJo-spruiking conspiracy theorist (and former culture secretary) Nadine Dorries did her bit for the dignity of the office by chowing down on some ostrich anus before being eliminated back in 2012.