dan andrews tampons
(Image: AAP/Private Media)

If the Andrews government is reelected in Victoria on November 26, the state will become the first in Australia to provide period products free to the general public. 

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews made the announcement yesterday in another example of what Benjamin Clark recently described in Crikey as “Andrews-ism” — that is, “getting things done” (and crowing about it). 

Andrews announced the promise on Twitter, saying tampons are “a necessity, not a luxury”.

He went on to tweet: “We’ll install 1500 free pad and tampon machines at up to 700 public sites including public hospitals, courts, TAFEs, public libraries, train stations and major cultural institutions like the State Library of Victoria and the Melbourne Museum.”

While some countries and states (including Victoria) offer free period products in schools, Scotland is the only country to provide them more widely. 

The idea behind the free period products is that it helps address period poverty and is fundamental to gender equality. Monthly, up to 1 million people who menstruate in Australia find that financial constraints make it difficult to access sanitary products.

Well, tell that to the men (and plenty of others, too) on Australian Twitter. Because as soon as Andrews made the announcement, the platform was awash with people who clearly know as much about menstruation as Elon Musk knows about blue tick verification having their say about free tampons. (Sidenote: data shows there’s a huge knowledge gap when it comes to men and periods — and that this adds to the stigma around menstruation. If you would like anecdotal evidence of this, please do search “tampons” on Twitter today.)

Here are the most bizarre and amusing takes on the announcement.

Free tampons = … free penis extensions?

In a now-deleted tweet, the Cumberland City Council councillor made an extremely bizarre comparison:

(iMAGE: TWITTER)

When questioned further about why he made such a comparison, he said he wasn’t comparing — he was being humorous. 

Free tampons?! What about toilet paper?

Many people were enraged that Andrews seems to think that tampons are a necessity, yet toilet paper isn’t. Except that, of course, toilet paper too is free in all the locations where tampons will be free in Victoria should the Labor government win the election.

Despite this being something many would assume is common knowledge, it seemed to be a persistent gripe with men of Australian Twitter. It really makes you wonder what they are doing when they take a shit in public, to be honest.

What about the boys???

A great thing about the reaction was that it really allowed some men to dive into some ideas about gender that they had perhaps not thought of before. Can any gender use tampons? Look, I’m not Andrews’ health adviser, but I’m quite sure it’s as simple as this: if you menstruate, you too may use the tampons.

What do the boys get??? asked this user. “Fair’s fair.” How about what (cis) boys don’t get: monthly cramps, bleeding, an extra item (at extra cost) on the grocery list and being stigmatised for something their body does without them asking for it.

Free tissues for the men, please

Thankfully, there was also a lot of sense coming from Twitter as well, with many users suggesting Andrews could add some freebies for those complaining.

Is Dan’s tampon play sensible, sensitive or cynical? Let us know by writing to letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.