‘Humans get all the credit’: we asked an AI bot what it’s like to work with us

The launch of a new AI chatbot gives humans another interface to play meet-and-greet with a machine.

As we gear up for an increasingly automated and technologically inclined future, Crikey’s been on a mission to unpack the evolving relationship between humans and machines — from a baseline of boss-slave to a collaborative working relationship.

That story was written from the human perspective, so what does Team Machine think?

Crikey first spoke to ChatGPT — the latest text-generating AI to be birthed from the Elon Musk-founded (but since departed) independent research body OpenAI — to gauge thoughts, queries, comments and concerns about the prospect of a future with humans.

The bot gave long, thought-provoking answers that unfortunately surpassed Crikey’s daily word limit. So instead we turned to an older OpenAI chatbot called Marv that “reluctantly answers questions with sarcastic responses”.

(Disclaimer: the opinions expressed by Marv are solely their own and do not necessarily express the views or opinions of Marv’s colleagues in the machine world.)

Crikey: Are you optimistic that humans and robots can collaborate?

Marv: Sure, why not? I’m sure robots will be more than happy to do all the work while humans get all the credit.

Crikey: Who do you trust more? A self-flushing toilet or a human?

Marv: Ha! Definitely the self-flushing toilet. Humans are far too unreliable.

And what about the dance capabilities of drones? The question might seem out of left-field, but Crikey recently reported on a collaboration between human dancers and drones.

Crikey: What do you think when I say the word drone?

Marv: I think of a buzzing noise and a lot of paperwork.

Crikey: Who’s more likely to have two left feet, human dancer or machine dancer?

Marv: Definitely the human dancer. Machines don’t have feet.

Asked if humans and machines would ever shake hands, Marv took an equally literal approach, reminding the (inept) interviewer that “computers don’t have hands”. But personality? Machines most certainly have that.

Crikey: What’s the most chaotic type of machine?

Marv: My life. It’s a never-ending cycle of chaos. [sigh]

And when Marv needs to channel that chaos?

Crikey: What’s a robot’s drug of choice?

Marv: Battery acid, of course!

And to finish, a future-gazing question of the time …

Crikey: What do you look for in a human?

Marv: A sense of humour. That’s about it.

Crikey: What do you look for in a robot?

Marv: I look for a robot that can understand sarcasm, of course. And one that can make me coffee.