Woodside merch from the 2023 FeNaClNG festival (Image: Supplied)

In the city of Karratha in Western Australia’s Pilbara region, the king’s birthday public holiday is not celebrated. The local government area pledges allegiance elsewhere.

For 51 years, an alternative public holiday has been held to celebrate the resources industry. It takes place on a Monday after a two-day festival featuring music, rides, stalls and showbags — and this year’s FeNaClNG Festival was held last weekend.

The name FeNaClNG represents the minerals exported in bulk from the region: iron ore, salt and liquified “natural” gas. No-one seems to quite know how to pronounce it: I’ve heard FEE-nackle, fe-NACK-ling and FEE-nack-ling. Sponsors include the partners in the massive nearby North West Shelf fossil gas project: Woodside, BP, Chevron, Mimi and Shell.

Woodside leads the project and plans to extend the life of the North West Shelf until 2070. The expansions would lock in decades of increasing carbon emissions, against the advice of the world’s climate scientists. The extension is just one part of Woodside’s broader plans for the Burrup Hub mega-project. 

Last week I arrived back in Karratha, where I live, a couple of days before FeNaClNG began. I’d been in Perth, where I wound up staring at the walls of various holding cells for 34 hours after being charged by police in relation to a protest outside the mansion of Woodside CEO Meg O’Neill.

Right-wing media outlets across the country were frothing with outrage because a crew from the ABC had been on site to report on the newsworthy event. The West Australian ran a series of editorials and front-page stories that failed to mention that Woodside was knowingly leading the world into climate catastrophe, but made sure to repeatedly lay the boot into non-violent protesters, cast as “eco-fanatics”. The vitriol came as no surprise, given that The West’s parent company, Seven Group Holdings, purchased a stake in Woodside worth $100 million in 2014.

On Saturday I visited FeNaClNG, where I enjoyed a set by Roebourne country band Jokeria and a spin on the Nitro, the scariest-looking ride in sideshow alley, but I made sure to steer clear of the Woodside tent. I was worried the local cops would interpret my going near it as a breach of my bail conditions to not go within 100 metres of any Woodside property.

I was disappointed I couldn’t approach though, given I’m an avid collector of Woodside merchandise.

Usually I source from local op shops and shopping centre display stalls, but the tent would’ve made for prime pickings. So I sent in an envoy. Here’s what my highly considerate girlfriend collected for me:

  1. A tin of breath mints, emblazoned with the Woodside Energy logo. Hearing about Woodside’s plans for the Burrup Hub is enough to put a bad taste in anyone’s mouth. The planned expansions will continue to desecrate the 47,000-year-old, world heritage-nominated Murujuga rock art through chemical emissions and contribute to a future of mass starvation and forced migration, so it’s very thoughtful of Woodside to offer a palate cleanser. The small mints are delicious and I’m about halfway through the tin.
  1. A phone charger with USB-B, USB-C and iPhone charging ports, also emblazoned with the Woodside Energy logo. Woodside loves to make a lot of noise about how its gas “keeps the lights on”’” in Western Australia, even though most of it is exported. But if you were to see the Woodside logo every time you plugged your phone in, it might help convince you that you needed a war-profiteering fossil gas enterprise to enjoy the basics of daily life.
  1. An iced biscuit depicting an LNG carrier ship, with accompanying paintbrush and edible paint to decorate it with. Eating paint seems weird, but I guess I’m not the target audience for this one. Children are. What better way for a young person who will live through increasingly severe and frequent climate-related disasters to enjoy themselves than decorating and eating dessert food which celebrates the export of deadly fossil gas?

Here’s hoping that when next year’s FeNaClNG weekend rolls around, Woodside’s social licence to operate is so thoroughly trashed it wouldn’t dare hand out free breath mints.