Former Labor MP Craig Thomson leaves Gosford police station, 2021
Former Labor MP Craig Thomson (Image: AAP/Darren Pateman)

Former Labor MP Craig Thomson has done, on balance, the funniest thing possible.

Just over a decade ago he was at the centre of the Health Services Union expenses affair — one of the defining scandals of the Rudd-Gillard-Rudd years (which is saying something) — landing him a fine of $25,000 for the misuse of union funds on such indulgences as sex workers and fancy wine. So when the COVID-19 pandemic rolled around, Thomson presumably thought “Yeah, but I probably won’t get caught this time.”

Long story short, yesterday he pleaded guilty to dishonestly receiving $25,000 in COVID-19 small business grants from the NSW government for a café that no longer existed.

But Thomson’s major error might be that he accepted this ill-gotten dosh from the state government rather than the federal; anyone could have looked at the administration of COVID-era business support and be forgiven for concluding the rules were fairly loosely applied.

In the first six months of the government’s JobKeeper scheme, by Treasury’s own admission, $27 billion in taxpayer money found its way into the bank accounts of businesses which didn’t, it turns out, experience the 30% turnover decline required to qualify for the support. Over at The Australian Financial Review, Joe Aston put the figure closer to $40 billion — either way, in comparison Thomson’s sum looks like not so much small but molecular potatoes.

Among the notable recipients are such faves as:

  • Qantas: oh yeah, in case you were short of reasons to be mad at the national carrier, remember that Qantas received nearly $900 million in JobKeeper (the most of any company in Australia, and part of roughly $2 billion in corporate welfare over the COVID-19 period) and, despite brightly announcing a swift return to profit, is yet to get any further than “considering” paying a cent of it back;
  • The Australian Club (Sydney): making an admirable attempt to outdo Qantas as a bile inducement agent is “Australia’s premier gentlemen’s club” — by which they mean “no girls allowed” — which pocketed $2 million in government money, including $1.5 million in JobKeeper, more than doubling its annual surplus;
  • Star Entertainment: Star made a $51 million profit for the six months to December 2020, enough to pay out executive bonuses worth $1.4 million despite missing its annual financial targets. This was helped by $123 million in JobKeeper payments throughout 2020. By the end of 2021, Star had received $157 million and paid none back.

All up, with no mechanism for anything other than “voluntary repayment”, a trifling $267 million of that (at least) $27 billion was paid back — some of it with notable reluctance.