Tony Jones, David Broadbent and Brett
McLeod, take a bow. You’re Nine Melbourne’s top three newshounds,
according to Nine’s news director, Michael Venus.

Venus has
taken a novel approach to the declining ratings and sapping morale at
the station by launching a public reward and recognition system for
Nine hacks. The news boss has instructed his video graphics department
to rewrite the credits after each Sunday night bulletin, with the top
performing reporter appearing on top.

Last night, sports
reporter Jones took the prize, followed by Budget-busting state
politics reporter Broadbent and deputy chief of staff and news reporter
McLeod.

Venus’s inventive solution to the poor morale at Bendigo
Street is being watched closely by Nine kremlinologists, tuning in on a
Sunday night to see who’s in and who’s out of favour. And insiders are
speculating with interest how Venus will rate the performance of one
particular news hackette, Kelly Curtain – also known as Mrs Michael
Venus.