Herald Sun editorial writer and former Andrew Peacock staffer Peter Coster writes:

It has been brought to my notice that Colin Lovitt, QC, has been putting the so-called case for the defence in the accusations flying
about that either he or Attorney-General Rob Hulls whacked Perc Jones in his pub.

In doing so the Embarrister, as he is known about the hostelries in the Holy Land, puts it about that I spread the rumours and that I am a lover of scuttlebutt. I plead not guilty to the first charge and the second is not an offence, otherwise the Embarrister and I would be sharing a cell; not
something I would look forward to.

For my part, what happened was that I was told about Perc having his already out of shape nose whacked by the AG and rang Perc to enquire as to his health. Having been the best man at his wedding, perhaps the only part of the Embarrister’s address to the jury at large that carries any weight, I was understandably concerned.

Perc said the Embarrister whacked him but as to spreading such a rumour, or indeed the version given in Crikey and that erstwhile esteemed organ, The Age, I spread nothing more than the raspberry jam on my crumpets that morning and on mornings since.

Bah, humbug, I say and a pox on all lawyers and aging ruckmen, the former strewn with more red herrings than a Finlander’s breakfast and the latter full of more hot wind that a football bladder.

I remain, the public’s humble servant in letters.