Thinking of taking a break? Fancy a cruise with David Williamson?
Money’s no object – really – but you’d better bone up on your Proust.

Apirational Aussie: I’d like to book a berth on your upcoming cruise, Cultural hotspots of the South Pacific 101.

David’s Cultural Commissar: How would you like to pay sir?

AA: Credit card….

DCC: And your cultural capital, Sir?

AA: Sorry?

DCC: Your reading of Dante, Sir. Joyce? Melville? Chekov? Proust?

AA: We’ll, I’ve always been meaning to read that one about memories of the past, but isn’t it all a bit self-indulgent?

DCC: Self-indulgent?

AA: Yeah, you know – all those long passages about his memories of
childhood, all that quivering sensitivity. He bangs on as though he’s
the only person in the world who’s ever had a finer feeling or
sensitive thought…

DCC: Precisely sir. This is the Williamson – the cruise ship for people with finer feelings and sensitive thoughts.

AA: Finer than who?

DCC: People like you, obviously.

AA: Just people like me?

DCC: Anyone who isn’t David Williamson actually.

AA: That must make it a very lonely cruise…

DCC: Exquisitely lonely, Sir. And so frequently misunderstood.