Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies…

What’s been the political smash of the week? John Howard’s take on Fleetwood Mac or the latest cover of “Your Cheatin’ Heart”?

It’s been Howard. Poor love rat Ross Cameron didn’t even make the Top 10 with his version of the Hank Williams classic. He only came in at Number 12, despite all his dramas.

“Your cheatin’ heart will tell on you.” Ross sure said plenty. Enough to leave his career and his chances of hanging on to his 1.2 per cent marginal seat of Parramatta looking pretty, according to the polls – but not enough to make the big time in the Canberra charts. Perhaps he only really got put on high rotation on 2WS.

Howard it was – a very humble Howard, it seems. “Little Lies”? Great big whoppers, told over and over again for almost three years is more like it.

And looking at the charts, it seems there’s a couple of weird trends developing.

When they hear the name Elvis Costello, most people think “Pump It Up” or “Everyday I Write the Book”. Old, old, old. They should listen to some of his more recent stuff – like the Painted From Memory album with Burt Bacharach.

Not only is it sublime, but there’s also an interesting story that goes with it. After they’d written the songs, the odd couple recorded the album in LA while a group of jazz musos lead by guitar supreme Bill Frisell were putting their own version on wax on the east coast. Both were released simultaneously.

Some of John Howard’s friends seem to have done the same with his version of “Lies” – with a fair bit of success. Foreign Minister Alexander Downer, Defence Minister Robert Hill and Immigration Minister Amanda Vanstone all made the Top 40 singing the same tune.

That brings us to weird trend number two. Fleetwood Mac covers and gansta rap aren’t often bracketed together, but just as one rap track often provokes a riposte from a rival posse, Howard’s “Lies” have generated a response.

The obvious Labor people – Senate leader John Faulkner, Defence shadow Kim Beazley and Foreign Affairs spokesman Kevin Rudd – have all come out with replies that have cracked the Top 40.

Like Howard’s back up band of Downer, Hill and Vanstone, they’re doing the same song too. And, given the subject matter, they’ve also been joined with simultaneous releases from two independents with integrity in the Reps, Peter Andren and Tony Windsor, in the Canberra charts.

The song they’re doing is rather radical for polite pols. Radical, but timely. It’s an old chestnut from “Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols”, “Liar”:

“Lie lie lie lie liar you lie lie lie lie
Tell me why tell me why
Why d’you have to lie
Should’ve realised that
Should’ve told the truth
Should’ve realised
You know what I’ll do..”

Should realise that a lot of people are going to vote Labor because of this, Prime Minister.

Who’s hot, who’s not: The Rehame Top 40 Pols

Rank Name Mentions Last Week Rank
1 John Howard 5653 5163 1
2 Mark Latham 3340 3141 2
3 Alexander Downer 1111 580 3
4 John Faulkner 495 29 70
5 Jenny Macklin 493 115 23
6 John Anderson 399 251 12
7 Tony Abbott 367 290 8
8 Bob Brown 260 486 6
9 Kim Beazley 230 364 7
10 Kevin Rudd 212 146 18
11 Andrew Bartlett 194 121 21
12 Ross Cameron 176 7 125
13 Mark Vaile 154 183 14
14 Warren Truss 153 139 19
15 Ian Campbell 146 86 33
16 Peter Costello 130 527 5
17 Philip Ruddock 110 93 30
18 Larry Anthony 90 67 40
19 Robert Hill 83 112 25
20 Joel Fitzgibbon 77 10 110
21 Sharman Stone 75 81 36
22 Don Randall 70 20 82
23 Lindsay Tanner 64 131 20
24 Tony Windsor 62 81 36
25 Natasha Stott Despoja 58 87 32
26 David Hawker 56 32 64
27 Julia Gillard 55 60 43
28 Amanda Vanstone 54 164 16
29 Kevin Andrews 53 113 24
30 Aden Ridgeway 51 10 110
31 Gary Nairn 50 62 42
31 Trish Draper 50 0 194
33 Mal Brough 49 32 64
33 Malcolm Turnbull 49 538 4
35 Brendan Nelson 48 106 27
36 Peter Andren 47 24 74
37 Sophie Panopoulos 45 12 102
38 Ian Macdonald 44 24 74
39 Helen Coonan 43 97 29
39 Rod Kemp 43 53 49
40 Peter Lindsay 41 39 59

Christian Kerr can be contacted at christian @crikey.com.au