Scene: the thickly curtained master bedroom at Kirribilli. John Howard is lying naked, sweaty and unshaven, sprawled across an unmade bed. A ceiling fan stirs the air. The Doors’ The End slowly fades:
Howard (voiceover): “Kirribilli, sh-t. I’m still only in Kirribilli. Every time I think I’m going to wake up back on the campaign trail. When I was home in 96 after my first election, it was worse. I’d wake up and there’d be nothing … I hardly said a word to my wife until I said yes to moving to Sydney. When I was here I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I could think of was getting back onto the campaign. I’ve been here three years now. Waiting for a mission, getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room I get weaker. And every minute Kevin squats in the bush he gets stronger. Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter. Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted an election, and for my sins they gave me one …. Brought it up to me like room service.”
Two men in suits approach the bedroom door.
Mark Textor: “John? Are you in there ?”
Howard: “Yeah.”
Howard (voice over): “It was a real choice election, and when it was over, I’d never want another.”
Howard: “Whaddya want ?”
Brian Loughnane: “It’s time John.”
Perhaps he needs to move south of the Bridge. I think my Mum has a granny flat she only uses for séances and exorcising the ghosts of climate change denialists. I’ll write to him with the offer.
as a heart of darkness, wasteland, and apocalypse now fan I loved this quote, so true – regardless of your politics you have to appreciate this.
The best political humour in the last 6 months…