The United States and Australia have a special relationship and it’s one that Donald Trump and I share.
At heart we are both marketing men. Maybe Donald’s taken it a bit too far, but as I’ve always said: whether it’s marketing, conning or criminal fraud, it’s just a matter of degree. We’re all trying to sell something — ourselves, principally.
Unless there’s a miracle it looks like Donald’s time is over in the White House. I still remember walking arm in arm with Jen to the state dinner the Trumps put on for us. Joe Hockey was there. Greg Norman, the golfing thought leader. Anthony Pratt with his funny Trump hair which he must have got with his donation to the Mar-a-Lago benefit fund.
Jen and I looked at each other and realised how far we’d come. All those years of grind through marketing and lobbying jobs in tourism and property and then the big one, head of the NSW Liberals. “I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto,” I said to Jen. “Or Kensington!” she fired back with a smirk.
For all that, it’s a pity there was no room for Pastor Brian Houston. Hillsong is, believe it or not, one of the biggest Aussie brands in the US these days so it was a shame not to see that recognised. Donald wondered aloud if it was actually a church but I assured him it had had its own sex abuse scandal. Enough said on that.
It’s been a whirl since that night. The fires back home. Christmas drinks with the Murdochs as the mist hung over Sydney Harbour (or was that smoke?). The dash to Hawaii for a break. (We missed our QAnon family friends there — fingers crossed that with Joe Biden coming on board, US authorities aren’t onto their connection to Trump-supporting conspiracy theorists.) I got Angus onto fixing up our climate problem with the UN.
Then the China virus. And that’s where Donald and I started to drift apart, I think it’s fair to say.
For me it was a chance to rebrand. I kicked off with a soft launch of the National COVID Coordination Commission which was a good smokescreen (pardon the pun) for Australia’s biggest businesses to get into the cabinet room without going through ministers. Cutting out the middleman is always good business practice, as chairman Nev Power told me.
Donald, though, just went further and further down his own Fox News conspiracy rabbit hole. Not that there’s anything wrong with Rupert’s US outfit by the way! Always good to have a diversity of views, unlike the ABC.
It looks like it really is over for Donald with the electoral college votes coming in. And now there are those who will say that there are lessons for conservatives in Australia to learn.
One: you have to encourage dissent, not squash people who disagree with you.
Two: a government needs to be accountable. Otherwise the sleaze and corruption end up overrunning you.
Three: we need a strong independent media which values truth and facts. And we need to halt the spread of disinformation and conspiracy theory as a business model.
Four: we need to govern not just for the wealthy few that donate to us.
Five: you have to make decisions based on science (we got that one right with COVID-19!).
Six: you have to see government as more than a 24-hour spin cycle of media management with the Murdochs.
Seven: Just stop marketing! (Only kidding.)
These are just some of the ways Donald and the Republicans screwed up.
I’m going to spend the break with Jen reflecting on all this. I’ll see what insights the Christmas period brings. Perhaps some prayer time with Stuart Robert might let in the joyous light.
After all, miracles do happen.
Merry Christmas, patriots one and all.
Did we miss anything? Let us know what you think Scott Morrison should include in an end of year message by writing to letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication in Crikey‘s Your Say column.
As the presidential power of Donny is flushed down the Dunny…we shall not mourn, but yawn. For the era of Donny is sadly not done. He has scraped up $200 million from his deluded masses to continue to trash the USA until his dying day.
Bizarre as it is, I can understand the US dichotomy. Some of the world’s greatest minds flourish there, and yet some of the greatest stupidity lives there, and it’s given an amplified voice. The country was founded on some fairly wild religious beliefs, and these have evolved in curious ways. It holds libertarian ideals that almost celebrate anarchy. It is what it is.
I cannot for the life of me understand Australian politicians’ wide and blind acceptance of the US foreign policy agenda though. It is only partially aligned with Australian interests, and many times, not at all.
I truly hope that one day, if we rid ourselves of the Murdoch virus in the way we fought of Covid-19, we can forge a path in our own image. Australia with 60,000+ years of history. One nation, hanging of the bottom right of Asia…
I hope we rid ourselves of Murdoch and the whole L/NP ASAP.
“I cannot for the life of me understand Australian politicians’ wide and blind acceptance of the US foreign policy agenda” – they have no choice – not since Australia was annexed by the U.S. in 1975
Boom!
The annexation occurred rather earlier than 1975.
The Brisbane Line anyone?
That was Australian pragmatics (after the gold and the nobs left Perth of course) and one of the better items of planning.
It was the “Australia sees its future with America..” remark by the PM after Singapore collapsed along with the sinking of The Hood that turned the corner for Australian foreign policy. Nothing has been quite the same since.
The Brisbane Line was the British bulldogs idea. But there were pitched battles in the streets of that small country town between US soldiers and Aussie soldiers usually over women.
A US army corporal was paid as much as an Australian lieutenant and, I was told as a kid, that the yanks had considerably more charm whatever their social background. They also had access to items that were rationed in Australia. Yeah, caused similar problems in NZ too.
They waved their silk stockings at the females in Scotland, took over our schools, and got medals for bring stationed in UK. My family kept me far away from them and I was only about five (in case they bribed me with chocolate, apples would have worked better then) when they were there and, the war was almost over.
Wherever the US has bases (in well over 100 countries at last count) the complaint is the same – “overpaid, oversexed & over here”.
If he’s as broke as some claim, he’ll embezzle it.
Isn’t it sad to think the best thing about our PM’s response to Covid is that he got out of the way and let state and territory leaders call the shots?
So much for leadership.
The Health Services of the Public Sector ought to have managed the event and not the pollies with their personal phobias and electoral considerations – which should not be confused with leadership – but be that as it may.
That’s an interesting re-write of history Erasmus, given that the Chief Health Officers basically ran the show, all the time doing the opposite of what you were advocating.
You might have a chat with those in the field; particularly those with dissenting views DB.
You should know that senior positions are more a factor of appointment nowadays rather than of merit (as per the “old” days). Look at the musical chairs for a change of government even at State level. For this reason, a very timid public service exists.
Pity about the current political influence that was very much diminished 40 odd years ago.
He never got very far out of the way, only his rat cunning told him he was losing support every time he attempted potshots from the sidelines….
He might just as well have slipped away to Hawaii….or Japan.
When SM is lying at industrial strength, he often mispronounces words, mixes up prepositions, and pants in a panicky way. Work to be done there, Scotty from Marketing: if you’re going to do something, do it well.
I also note that the left side of his face stops moving and his mouth gets a pronounced line down to his chin.
This line is called the marionette line, which I think is appropriate.
Scotty might need to practice his lines in the mirror.
It’s true, ratty, I have noticed it too. He can’t lie with a straight face.
Donald wondered aloud if it was actually a church but I assured him it had had its own sex abuse scandal. Enough said on that. he he he
You forgot to mention the war crimes, SmoCo. But, sadly, since release of the Brereton report so has everyone else.
Nobody has forgotten the war crimes.
The dog handler’s go pro footage was pretty confronting.
I have voted for David McBride as the person of the year.
Scumo and his minions of the AFP moved heaven and earth to prevent that footage getting out.
Surprisingly they did even more to prevent the “Canberra bubble” episode of 4 Corners, I suppose it isn’t a good look to have very Christian ministers allegedly committing adultery and compromising their integrity.
A bit silly to stir up Ita over it, because she could manage Kerry Packer and so My money is on the loss of face by the communications minister.
Politely, coolly and forensically served up for scottie from marketing to eat. All the good meat is in the head.
Fletcher would have been a suitable arsehat, were he nominated. NBN, ABC, Ita – need I say any more?
Shouldn’t that be “Alleged” christians?