Lockdown has hit. You’re a recently single extrovert stuck inside with one housemate and a cat. What do you do to distract yourself from the growing sense of existential dread?
The online shopping stage
You’re about $1000 down in online shopping, from home improvement to outfits you’ll never wear to toys your cat will ignore.
You thought retail therapy would be relaxing. Instead, three parcels are delayed, two are lost and one store sends you clothes with all the security tags still on.
Luckily for you, lockdown is extended. Looks like you’ll get some wear out of that matching tracksuit set after all.
Actual therapy would have been cheaper.
The social media stage
Next, you decide maybe you’ll become social-media famous and increase your Twitter following by writing a few hilarious tweets.
“Lockdown tip: segregate your workspace and your living space. For example, the left side of my bed is for sleeping, the right for literally everything else.”
Hahaha. You’re a genius. You spend the next 30 minutes refreshing the page to check how many likes you get.
But you can’t think of anything else funny to say, so you stop tweeting for the next fortnight and move on to the third season of the drama you don’t care about.
The walk ‘n’ w(h)ine stage
In full gym gear, including those Nikes you recently purchased even though you’re not capable of running more than 300 metres at a time, you go to meet a friend for some exercise.
On the way, you pick up a couple of takeaway cocktails and end up getting far too drunk in a deserted park. It brings you back to your teenage years, only this time the alcohol is more palatable.
You’re almost late for your morning meeting at work the next day and are tempted to use “got stuck in traffic” as an excuse. Maybe you should try your hand at Twitter fame after all.
Somethings that worked for me in the marathon Melbourne lock down included:
* Taking the time to savor the park or neighborhood. Take a different route everyday and act like a tourist in a foriegn city. Stop and look at all the small things. Peoples houses, gardens, architecture etc. Exercise/walk in a different part of the zone as you can.
* Take every opportunity to engage with the people you do meet while shopping, exercising etc. Wearing the mask can create some different social dynamics between strangers and theres plenty of others out seeking the same.
* Make an effort to talk to the homeless and old. They have it much harder and I had some great random conversations during the time.
* Pat peoples pets and chat. Every dog owner at the park wants to talk about their dog.
Hang in there, this will pass.
My wife and I have walked literally every path, street, park and backroad over about 4 square kilometres from home. Multiple times. I work it out as approaching 200kms in 7 weeks, but it may be much more than that. The morning walk in particular is for noticing the gardens. Delightful.
At the moment I am making grapefruit jam. Have made tangelo jam, but will do another batch due to overflowing tree. Can’t give them away as not many like the tart taste. And everyone seems to have the same fruit trees.
I’m a senior, lazy but relatively healthy – go for 30 minute walk daily. Love computer games (the old easy ones) so that’s bad for my back.
laziness also the reason have not had a haircut/trim after previous lock downs. The danger now is my demtel brand(?) razor hair trimmers. It’s hard to restrain myself!
I have a flatmate and cat so can talk to both. Cat better at conversation than human.
Great article Amber, the online shopping stage is real. See also the “obsessive hobby phase” where you bake so much sourdough/work out obsessively/get obsessed with cheesemaking/insert hobby here. It becomes your salvation in lockdown until suddenly you can’t bring yourself to keep it up.
I think that it is extremely important to remain gainfully occupied during lockdown times. During these times I still find that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that I would like to do.
I must confess that as a happily married septuagenarian, the options open to me are much narrower than they were when I was young and single. But I find that cerebral stimulation is what keeps both me and my wife going. Right now she is practicing her Spanish that she studies through the U3A. I am obviously spending more time as a ‘keyboard warrior’ (although I am sure that very few, if anybody is interested in what I am saying).
I still have 6 hours of teaching on Zoom to prepare for and when I am not doing that, I have 2 U3A classes to prepare for once the lockdown is over. These activities are not ones that I have had to invent to survive the lockdown, they are all associated with my lifelong hobbies and interests.
Use these lockdowns as a great opportunity to find out what you like doing, if you are not already sure about that.
During lock downs there are many ways to save money! Not on food, as many are into obscure grains, (not chia) and trying for palatable presentations. No, I’m talking of personal hygiene. Think of the possibities – top and tail wash or face washer wipe down (plus teeth of course) – greasy hair – throw some talc and brush through! Don’t mind it changes hair colour to grey?
At this stage you should have no obvious body odour.
No make up you have a mask. For seniors with aggressive facial hair (above lips and on chin) let them grow until you meet a stranger in some distant future-trim yourself then.
Now to clothing – if you follow the distancing rule, your clothes can have a bit of body odour but won’t be noticed in a grocery or chemists. Even tracksuit pants with couple of grease stains get unnoticed as you rush through the shopping.
So there you have it – laundry detergent, body soap and shampoo saved.
And your hair can be a mess, as the strings of your mask will have bits of hair sticking out – all normal looking in these lock downs
NOTE-not to be taken seriously – perhaps find other fanciful ways to “Save” something? .