Victorian MP Tim Smith in a very short time became one of the great friends of this column. But, alas, never again shall we be able to call him the man who “calls to mind a kind of Freaky Friday body switch between a small town mayor and a Year 12 student who wears a blazer on free dress days”.
Over the weekend he was like an idiotic Icarus who, rather than flying too close to the sun, drove too close to another car and then a fence. Given the level of alcohol in his blood was more than twice the legal limit, he’s extremely lucky that his role in the shadow cabinet is all he lost.
Smith managed to parlay calling Victorian Premier Dan Andrews “lurch” and a “friendless loser” into a role as shadow attorney-general (despite his lack of any legal qualifications), chummy profiles and a reputation as a possible future Victorian Liberal leader.
And how did he get to this privileged position? Let’s reminisce.
Blue poll
It may be his peak, combining shallow sniping and incompetence like a raspberry swirl. He put together a Facebook poll on whether Andrews should resign — one of those which uses the various emoji reactions as a voting mechanism (“thumbs up to vote yes, love heart to vote no, angry face to vote undecided” etc) — only he’d amusingly rigged it so there could be only one outcome … or so he thought.
Smith had forgotten the “care” react (which looks like a hugging emoji). It came to account for the vast majority of responses he received, thus making him, as we pointed out at the time, the first man to be conclusively trounced in his own rigged push-poll.
Doughnut forget
The Victorian Libs went hard on Andrews for much of 2020 about the number of COVID deaths in the state. So when Andrews posted a picture of a doughnut to celebrate the state’s first zero-case day for several months, Smith wasn’t about to stand idle. He said the premier really ought to reflect on the following:
After the predictable response — not everyone saw the above as signifying the 800 COVID-19 deaths the state had by then experienced — Smith was unrepentant: “If others see anything else but the figure 800 that is a reflection on them not me.”
It’s raining? Nice work, Dictator Dan
In some ways, his last attempt at some weird sniping summed it up. Both his Facebook page and Twitter feed shared photos of stormy conditions: “Great weather for outdoor retail and dining Daniel Andrews?”
Remember: over the past two years, Melbourne has spent more time locked down than any other city in the world. State Labor has just been hit with a series of mucky revelations at the Independent Broad-based Anti-Corruption Commission. Many are concerned about the powers the Andrews government has given itself after the pandemic. In the midst of all that material for an effective opposition to use, our shadow attorney-general decided to see if he could get us mad at the premier because it was raining.
It’s worth noting that while he’s vacated the shadow cabinet, he’s still paid more than $200,000 taxpayer dollars every year to remain on the backbench.
He’s not left politics just yet, though his colleagues would like him to. And, as furious as Liberal leader Matthew Guy reportedly is, he’s provided Smith with a template. If his choice of dinner guests and the fact that he has already led the Liberals to a disastrous election result on the back of some extremely mucky racial politics, who’s to say Smith won’t be back?
Tim Smith a drunken hooligan, the people of Kew deserve better he should resign to make way for a better person.
Questions need to be asked until there is a good answer about how he came to be selected for a safe seat.
Another entitled, privileged, ex-private school ‘character’ (will do) with the usual superiority complex, bites the dust.
Good riddance!!
He was a snob and elitist all throughout his Uni days and sadly that’s the dodgy prerequisite to be a liberal..Maybe they need to attract more people from working class backgrounds like John Pesutto.
Yes, I understand what you are saying Melina about the need for working class people to join the Liberal Party. However, the only problem I see with that suggestion, is that working class people would be joining a party that makes little effort to hide the fact that it is dedicated to working against their interests (unlike the so-called ‘Labor Party’ which pretends to be a working persons’ party).
Overwheening arrogance and hubris. Is he a Porky Joyce clone or a penguin? Why is Oily “sophistry” Fryberg still supporting him? Is it because is of the hard right?
Mary Wooldridge was robbed.
Agreed. As on of his constituents,I rue the day Mary Wooldridge was ousted. Smith has lost lots of votes each election, and I was looking forward to seeing how much of his majority he may l lose next time. With any luck,we might have new candidates.
So… as shadow attorney general, is he trying to point out that with the new emergency powers he is trying to push through government that Daniel Andrews is drunk with power, and his car crash government is about to hit the wall?
Tim Smith might go all in on his metaphors, but you have to admit that he delivers this one more effectively than the four donuts….
I doubt he’ll be back at all. The Libs need that seat for John Pesutto. It was a case of serendipity for them.
Pesutto is apparently going to try and regain Hawthorn. And a by election with Pesutto returning to Parliament now would be a nightmare for Guy. He’d be looking over his shoulder all the way to November 2022. As soon as his poll numbers went down Pesutto could pounce. If Pesutto is made to wait until the next election then that threat is removed. If Guy wins, he’s the all conquering hero who will be able to do no wrong. If he loses (again) he’ll slink out the back door of Crown election night after having announced his resignation as leader and from the Parliament. Fare more likely that Dim Tim will announce that he’s not recontesting preselection and this term will be his last.