President Obama holds three way talks with Israel and the Palestinian Authority:

The cool dude who runs things tried to knock together the heads of the man who keeps giving your colleagues free trips, and the leader of the people he owns.

Proposal to halve nuclear US and Russian nuclear arsenals:

We’re only going to be killed six times over, not twelve.

The Brownlow:

Two hundred men dressed like defendants and two hundred women dressed like prostitutes listened to a series of numbers being read out for four hours.

OR

A man won a medal named after the sexual favour he will demand in celebration for winning it.

John Brumby’s mission to India:

The Premier of Victoria tried to convince people not to be scared by wild media stories about violence — by not travelling to a city of twenty million people after there were reports of rumours of possibilities that something violent might happen there.

Ron Walker and The Fairfax board:

The newspaper company not yet run into the ground by a Chairman with no press background is about to appoint a grocer to finish the job.

The AFL grand final:

Homo-town versus Centrelink City.

Over to you!

Can you write up a classic historical event, recent (very recent) major news story or literary or pop-culture classic in a form so simple that even Mark Day can understand it? First Dog on the Moon paraphernalia, and a personal appearance in a First Dog strip to the winner or winners next week! Start Markdaying!