Will
last week’s Start Your Own Cargo Cult practical in Aceh prove useful to
Peter Costello when Parliament sits
today?

The
Prime Minister is off in New
York for the
world leaders’ summit at the UN and Nationals leader Mark Vaile will be acting in his place.

Vaile
turned in a cringe-making performance in Question Time last Thursday over what he knew about Telstra’s woes and when
he told his party room. Labor hammered him. Vaile was forced to issue a
statement clarifying his position – a statement that, no doubt because of an
administrative oversight, appears to be missing from his website.

Kim Beazley was able to close the sittings saying “They are completely confused,
completely and utterly confused. They are all at sea, they have been all at sea
all week” as the Government tied itself in knots over Telstra.

But
now the Treasurer is back. Malcolm Farr makes some amusing observations on his jaunting in the Telegraph today:

“Costello appeared to be shaping his public image to
match an elevation from treasurer to prime minister.

“He
visited tsunami-flattened areas of Aceh, Indonesia, for no apparent reason other
than to be photographed looking concerned and sympathetic in a tsunami-flattened
area.

“He
walked around noting the outstandingly obvious, that there had been a calamity,
with an acuteness of observation which reminded me of
Richard Nixon’s visit to the
Great Wall
of China
where the US president was moved to say: ‘This
is indeed a great wall.’”

Farr is even funnier on the Liberal leadership
transition:

“A
staple of TV shows which feature embarrassing videos is the wedding gone
wrong.

“The cake collapses, the groom faints, the bride falls
into the duck pond on the way to the church.

“Something similar could be happening to the
Liberals’ much-sought smooth transition from
John Howard to
Peter Costello.

“The Telstra sale looks wobbly, the Prime Minister is
under personal attack, voters are fearful of workplace relations policy.

“If
the disruption is too much, the sensible option would be to postpone proceedings
and try another day.”

The
Prime Minister performed poorly last week. Very poorly. At times it looked as if
the iron grip on affairs had weakened.

This
is Costello’s moment to shine, to reappear on the
benches and repel Labor’s attack.

It might
be a bit of an ask. Things are pretty messy at the moment within the
Coalition itself and government as a whole thanks to Barnyard’s antics and the
Prime Minister’s keenness to acquiesce to his demands.

The
Treasurer can at least show up Alexander Downer’s confected outrage against the
ALP in the House last week for the utter tosh it was. “I would make this
request, and that is that the Leader of the Opposition might quietly, away from
publicity, write to the ambassador in Washington and to my department offering an
apology for some of the things he said,” Dolly said on Thursday, sounding very
hurt. If Question Time is seen as political theatre, then a performance like that
isn’t much of an audition for the top job.

Still, Costello is the Government’s lead attack dog. He
mightn’t be returning from the sky with riches for his people, but at least he
should be able to give them some direction in the House this
week.

If
he can’t – or doesn’t – there will be troubled times
ahead.